On and off throughout our relationship I have encountered my partner ogling internet porn . At first I was chilled about it but over the years it has upset me more and more . I awake every morning in an empty bed , knowing that he is on the PC , iPad etc. He gets up at 0530 every morning , ( even Sat and Sunday )on a few occasions I have caught him “at it “ but mostly by the time I’m in the vicinity he’s always on the BBC news web-site ! When I’ve challenged him he says a) it’s normal b ) it’s not going to change and c) I shouldn’t skulk around the house trying to catch him out.
I’m almost sure that every time I leave the house he’s “at it “again -the minute I leave the house he dives in to the study and every time I arrive home he’s in the study ( this man does no admin , pays no bills, and e-mails no-one so that limits the number of things he’s doing in there !) Once in a holiday flat he thought I’d fallen asleep in the afternoon on the sofa and he crept off in to the shower room with his iPad ! The shower didn’t get turned on and there was no loo in there so I banged on the door and challenged him . As usual there was no apology and I got the silent sulk treatment for the next week . A few weeks ago he told me that someone unknown hacked in to his e-bay account and has sent him a dildo - sure enough this thing arrived in the post . I didn’t get to see the order but thinking about it , it’s now dawned on me that he’s ordered it for someone else and got the mailing address wrong . The hacked e-bay account is bull-shit isn’t it ? Also in the last few weeks he’s acquired a web-cam / go pro thingy ( which he’ll say he will use for sport - this is feasible ) and a tripod . It’s all pointing in the same direction isn’t it ? I think I’ve been waiting for irrefutable evidence before terminating a 10 year relationship ( and he’s been my 15 year old daughter’s one and only father figure ). He’s shown no sexual interest in me for about 5 years - however waking up on my own every morning and going to sleep alone every night , along with his furtive behavior doesn’t do much for my libido He often travels to things separately and seems to like to get home before me ( not to put the kettle on I’ve noted ) Why have I put up with him ? Outward social respectability probably . I think I’ve just got used to the loneliness and I always thought I’d hang on until my daughter has left home . Now I’ve written all this down ( and believe me there is a lot more ) I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid - surely the dildo is the last straw isn’t it ?