I know I need to leave

[fedupofit]

I've name changed for personal reasons.

I'm so fed up. I worship the ground my DP walks on...but he's horrible, he doesn't deserve an ounce of what I do for him or what I feel for him. He treats me like an absolute mug. He makes me feel horrific. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and he's not spoken to me for 2 days and has slept in the next room and actually the only one that's done wrong is him.

I need to leave. I know I deserve better. But I don't want to. Why is that? How is it possible to have so much love for someone so undeserving?

He's betrayed me. I can't stand talking to anybody even though I need to let it out because they know I'm being a mug so what can they say. I absolutely hate this.

i dont have any solid advice but ive been in your shoes (minus the pregnancy)

all i can say is for me, when i was ready to leave i was READY. i should have left after 2 years, but something was stopping me. it took me 5 years to actually have had
enough.

im sure there will come a time when you think “this is it” and its the right moment for yoh

*you

It took me 18 years and now I have a child in therapy.

I'm exhausted and my life is on hold while I deal with the aftermath of all those years with a sulky, angry manchild. Please don't be me.

Me too OP. Drove home from work today repeating “I need to do this, I need to do this”. The reasons I don’t? The shame. The guilt (of breaking up our family 2dc aged 6&5).The sense of failure that I know will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. And most of all probably because I hope he will change, but 80%of me knows he won’t. I used to convince myself that I should stay ‘because of the kids’, but increasingly I know that it’s the exact opposite- I should go because of the kids. My dd will end up in therapy if I don’t get out......and I don’t want my ds to grow up thinking that being treated like I am is ok. Need to be brave. Need to be brave. Need to be brave.

Ps, sorry for hijacking your post op, but don’t think I need to start another thread about leaving a husband.......and if I started typing specifically about my own woes I’d never stop.

It really is awful. I'm definitely in the "hoping he will change but knowing he won't" camp I'm just so sad. I've been a good partner. I don't actually believe he could ask for more.

Sending you a hug. Today I typed and stored a load of text msgs that I’ll send when I’ve finally walked out of the door, and contacted a solicitor. Then I sat and imagined myself in my new conflict free home, sitting in the garden watching my children and my new (I’ll buy them as soon as I have my own house) chickens. It keeps me going on the darkest days......I have a plan, even if I’m not brave to execute it today.

We are all human, change is so scary, that's why you know deep down you need to leave, but it never is that simple, go easy on yourself, you will leave when the time is right, it just takes time, time when you have had enough,, you have decided now x

Fedupofit.......
I’ve just ended my relationship (last night) for the exact same reasons. We have a 2yr old and I’m also pregnant with my second.
I was going to ‘try again’ for the 10th time but he betrayed me again....for the last time.
I deserve better and my son deserves a happy mum.
I’m in bits, I feel incredible guilt and he is not going to make it easy but you have to be strong.
I feel selfish, like I’ve split my family up, I’m terrified but anything has to be better than what I’ve endured at the hands of my partner.
I’m hoping my kids will thank and respect my decision.....one day.

It doesn't help that I have no prospects. No Way at all of getting my own home. The worst thing is just simply knowing that the person who means the world to you literally doesn't care if you go.

So I stayed. Shock. Things are even worse. Even bigger shock. How do you switch off loving someone who literally treats you like you don't matter? I have nobody to talk to