What are the benefits of marriage over living together?

[tentontruck]

DP and I have a DC and have never been bothered about getting married, but I keep hearing about people getting into problems if they have children without being married. I've just been looking on the citizens advice website about the legal differences between marriage and living together. I can't really see an advantage to me to.getting married but I'm worried I may be missing something and not be legally protected.

We are both on DC's birth certificate so have parental responsibility. If one of us dies neither of us own enough to pay inheritance tax so that isn't an issue. We both have wills leaving everything to each other, or to DC if we both die. I've completed an expression of wishes form to say I want my pension to be paid to him if I die. He doesn't have a pension (a whole other issue which he needs to sort). We both have life insurance which will pay the mortgage off if one of us dies. I earn more and have some savings, DP doesn't.

Have I missed anything? Neither of us are fussed about getting married but would if there was something important we haven't considered.

Do you both work full-time? There's a small tax advantage if one of you is a non-taxpayer.

We're both taxpayers, DP is freelance full time and I work 30 hours a week.

If you remain financially independent then there is less need. And if you jointly own the property as well

Maybe down the line iht might become an issue. But sounds like you have the sensible bases covered

One massive factor for me was having a legal right to the home I had contributed to for ten years. If you are married, you will be asked to consent to any property sale your partner arranges if your home is in one name only, as ours is. Not that I think he would try and sell it from under me, but you just never know. It was also important for me that my children were born within marriage, because that was the example we both had growing up. Can't explain it much better than that. It just felt right.

It doesn't have to be a big deal, but I do feel I have more of a safety net, more rights and more responsibility than if we weren't married.

Yes our house is in both names owned jointly. But neither of us could afford the mortgage plus bills/living costs on our own.

Next of kin so if one gets seriously ill the other can make medical decisions etc.

It says on the CAB site that hospitals will usually accept your partner as the next of kin. I'd be just as happy with either my parents or DP making a decision about my medical care though. I guess it might become an issue if we had difficult relationships with our families.

On the whole it doesnt make a difference day to day.

The difference comes if the relationship is challenged: relationship breakdown, death, serious illness. Then, being able to 'prove' the relationship existed may make life a lot more straightforward.

On another thread a poster described the horrible situation of her DH dying suddenly while on holiday. The poster said that while the situation was awful, being married had made it less awful than it would have been if they werent married. Non marriage relationships may not be recognised in all countries.

If you split and it’s not amicable you can’t use the family courts to resolve the sale of the house etc. Your money may be equal now but that can chance easily.

I'm in a similar position but plan to marry for inheritance tax reasons. If you are unmarried you can only pass 325k on without any tax, but if you are married you can pass over all your estate to your other half and they retain your tax free amount so when they pass away they can then pass on up to 650k before any tax would be due. Otherwise our children would be liable to tax on our home if we were to both pass away unmarried.

Unless your estates together wouldn't total more than 325k it's worth thinking about.

Well in your position you are better off remaining unmarried. It is the finacially weaker person, so your husband, who gains the most protection from marriage in the absence of probate issues.

When you say estates is that just house and any savings? Our house is worth around £200 so nowhere near the inheritance tax threshold, and I only have a small amount of savings. Or does estate covet anything else?

*cover

Your estate is all of your assets, so your home, any savings and any thing else of value.

Other potential assets could be death in service benefit on work place pension, life insurance.

I was quite surprised when I totted up DH & my estate to find out that it came in at over £500k once all the other things were taken into account. House is less than 50% of that.

Hmmmm... should I be suspicious if any of the DCs offer to make me a cup of tea?

Men are much less likely to be unfaithful if they stand to lose half their home, as opposed to men who own the family home in their name only.

Next of kin so if one gets seriously ill the other can make medical decisions etc

Happening to my cousin who is recovering from a coma in an RTA. Narcissistic mother has all but driven off her boyfriend who is desperately upset and can't do a thing about it. Wish they'd married. She was just saying a few months ago how she didn't believe in it and I nearly said, "What if you were in an accident?". Had no idea she'd be in that very position so soon

Racecar is spot on. Marriage really only advantages, the least financially well off in a relationship

Depends on circumstances and priorities.

It's not true to say marriage only advantages the lower earner in the relationship: for example, you could be the higher earner and the surviving spouse, and not have to pay IHT whereas you would if you were married. But IHT isn't applicable here.

It may well be that there's no particular advantage for you OP. Happens sometimes. If IHT isn't a concern, neither of you has sacrificed income for childcare, you don't travel to countries where an unmarried spouse isn't recognised etc.

In your position (and mine) I wouldn't bother. I think it's only important if you become a SAHM tbh.