Just as it says in the title really. My sister is very LC with our DM. Background is that DM was pretty awful during our childhood - very critical, self-absorbed, angry, controlling, unkind. If she and DSis argued, she had form for driving off in a rage and leaving us alone so we didn't know where she was or if she was coming back.
Parents split up when we were 10 and 14 but before that there were horrible rows and sniping, domestic abuse (dad violent to us kids on occasion and to DM on occasion; no one - DM or other family - ever stepped in when he was violent to us).
Since DSis had children I think she's really felt the impact of this a lot more, it was an eye opener to me to recall what was happening to us at similar ages to my DNs, they were so little and vulnerable.
So that's the background and I understand completely why DSis is LC. I'm medium contact and feel better if maintain links with DM. however DM spoils any conversation with constant hassling about DSis - have I seen her, have I heard from her, how DSis never answers the phone to her. I don't engage with this, brush it off or change the subject or say we haven't spoken recently (true, we never speak on the phone, only text). We probably speak every 10 - 14 days and if it's longer than that I get a bit of rage from DM about how I'm never in touch. (I live abroad so we don't see each other face to face). Conversations are generally not enjoyable though sometimes we can have a laugh. Could I handle it better? Is there a way of getting her to stop hassling me about my DSis?