My two year relationship ended out of the blue two months ago. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, he was a control freak, used to lie to me and would make me feel full of confidence one minute and subtly criticise to being me down the next. He never involved me in his life, I never was allowed to sleep over and never met family or friends.
I look back and can’t believe I put up with it for so long. I was so over involved with a man I adored and worshipped who cared little for me. He had the words but nothing was consistent. I’ve spent much of the last two years trying to be what he wanted me to be and have sat around waiting for snippets of his time while he’s been out having fun living his life, seeing friends and doing hobbies. He’s now with someone new who he was flirting with during our relationship. He seems to be making s proper commitment to her.
He never ended it with me after two years, just ignored my messages and his phone went straight to answerphone. The day before everything was in a hot phase where he seemed to be making a lot of effort and was keen to see me.
I was doing ok, upset but ok. But the last few weeks I’ve been so low and distracted. Despite how he has made me feel and his behaviour towards me, I find myself missing him and struggling not having him in my life anymore. I feel like I must have been worth so little if he could just cut me off like that. I keep crying, can’t sleep, wake up having panic attacks and generally have just totally lost my focus. I’d thought I’d be over him by now but I’m only just starting to see the damage that has been done.