Ex husband won't let dc see his ex!

[Ohlellykelly]

My exh has been in several relationships since our divorce ten years ago. Each time he has introduced our dc to his girlfriends. The most recent he has split up from previously and tried to ban dc from spending time with her and her ds. My dc wanted to continue seeing her. He got back together with her and all was fine for a few months.

They split up and he returned to his ex who my dc do not like. They don't want to see her and exh knows this very well.

He is now being abusive to me and his ex about seeing dc. Has he got any right to stop them seeing her?

I like her and like the stability she provides, she is a level headed adult. This has particularly upset dd who is 13, she just wants a quiet life really.

Has he got any way of stopping me let them see someone?

Wish I could edit that as it looks as though I'm saying the fact I like ex has upset dd. I just mean the whole thing has upset her.

He should n’t be abusive and that needs to stop. However he has a point about the children not seeing his most recent ex, that relationship will ultimately fizzle out anyway. If it does n’t end now what will happen when she gets a boyfriend ? Or has children of her own.you provide the stability not her.

If you and his ex get on then surely there is no reason you two should not maybe meet up every so often with the children? I mean she was obviously a big part of their lives for some time.
Would that cause massive reactions from him and possibly further upset your dd?

He would go mad, he would take that as disrespect and the last time the kids saw her he sent me some really nasty texts.

I consider his ex to be a friend and my dc adore her and her son.

I can judge for myself if she is bad for the kids and will stop it if I think so.

Sorry I've nc and forgot to say

How long were they together for? And did they have a good reason to split? Even if he is being arsey I see his point- it’s an ex, but I also see you children’s point that this is someone they like and bonded with. How often would you be trying to facilitate contact? Would it all be in your time with the kids?

Me and my partner have a son, and regularly see my partners dads ex wife. She was a huge part of my partners life and she did an amazing job of turning him into the person he is today, and she loves our son. Maybe a different situation as dps Dad was married to her, but she’s really good pals with dps mum too and the see one another still.
I can’t imagine her not being a part of our lives, and there’s no bitterness about us still seeing her. She’s a lovely woman and would always help us out with our son if we needed her to. She even invited us all to her wedding! Although she refuses to be called grandma, she’s auntie

He has no right to stop you from allowing your dc to see his ex if that is what you choose to do. Who gives a shit if he kicks off about it? Fuck him. The upside of being divorced is not having to listen to his opinions! He chose to make her a part of his kids' lives - he needs to understand that in doing so, they have formed relationships which are independent of him and he no longer gets to dictate terms.

We would listen to him perhaps if he hadn't told the dc not to see her and then returned to live with her shortly after, it made him seem flaky.

They were together for about six months, which isn't long but the kids loved it, even more so when he left as he is abusive, a drunk and those two things together are horrible.

On paper I see it clearly but he still knows how to plant doubt in my mind.

susej that sounds lovely. That won't happen for us as he won't allow us to live in peace until he gets what he wants.

Sd1978 They were together about six months. She says he cheated on her so she finished it, was the final straw after lots of drunken nights, drink driving and then a ban, weekends spent in the pub and not with dc, she looked after them! She was stressed and the relationship wasn't working. And yes the contact is in my time as he has no official set contact time, it's as and when he chooses ( if I agree ).

It’s non of his business and it sounds like your children enjoyed each other’s company. He is not the ruler of your household, I would keep seeing her and her DS.

You said she's your friend now, basically. So no, he doesnt get to control when you see your friends. And your DC live with you, so they will see your friends sometimes too. And if she had a DC they are now friends with (not sure if I read that right), too, it makes even more sense.

I think you should keep seeing her, especially if the children want to, and it sounds like you are friends with her too. Even if she is his ex he doesn't get to control you. You've all formed a relationship that has nothing at all to do with him.

My dad had a girlfriend for about 10 months when I was 13. She was excellent to me and my siblings even though my dad treated her like shit. I'm nearly 30 now and I consider her a very good friend! I have very little contact with my dad these days but I talk to my friend often and she was a very positive influence in my teens/early 20's.

He has no power over you or his ex.

Tell him to mind his own and if he doesn’t, involve the police

If you're happy to facilitate contact with the Ex-gf, then I'd go ahead and do so.

Live your life in a normal way and if he reacts in a criminally abnormal way, call the polici

ThatWasWayHarshTai that's exactly what I can imagine happening with my dd. His ex is such a grounded person and a fab mum herself that she is a good role model. His current gf is very different.

He keeps doing his best to harass us all and I'm considering going to a solicitor to see if I can sort things out that way.

Thanks for everyone's opinions, at least I know I'm not as weird as he makes out.