Hi,
I have been split from my partner now a month or two and we are still living in the same house until it sells which its going on the market as soon as.
I have had to resort to email communication with him and not to talk to him as its too raw and emotional for me and I find we row, or I feel upset or he says something to upset me and on it goes. With this rule of no contact with him and not talking it does make me stronger and focused like I can pretty much work on anything. I have become fitter, gone on dates, work is taking off and enjoying my friends and family more. I feel good.....well I feel like I am making progress in a slow way.
We both ended the relationship due to too many arguments, I wanted to fix things but he ended up not wanting to and felt like enough was enough and ok I felt it was best as exes to let go and not talk which is like the 30 day no talking rule. I can see why people block them on Facebook, whatsaap and the likes it does work and help.
He says to me he hasnt got closure from me, I was like what? you no longer want to be with me, what do you mean by closure, he says I don't know, I just don't have closure, I said what do you want the house to sell then you get closure, he said no but he then goes on to saying.... its better if we can be amicable, I said what do you mean, he says well I don't like this email communication its cold and its harsh, I said well we are not together what do you expect, us to be friends and live happily in the house, he said no but it would be nice to feel that I am not walking on egg shells when i get home from work, (trust me I am not nasty to him I just don't talk to him and he hates this , like he has lost control it feels like). I said there are two of us in this house and we are no longer together you made that clear so why should we talk, its easier and more logical on email, we get things done via email, no emotion, no contact, it works.
So he wants closure, whatever that means, he didnt give any explanation and to talk in the house to be friends. He wants his cake and eat it whilst he is dating as he is on dating site, which my friends told me about, so am I too, so I said I am not a mug, don't string me along or play on emotion, you were crying earlier and left me crying at the same time, its too emotional and raw. He said well if we had split for a week we could have been back together but its now 4 weeks, I said you never came back so don't come out with that rubbish. You are done now stop saying things which don't make sense. as I say this he says and thats the reason why we are not together, your behaviour...so its my fault, however me reacting is my fault hence I need control again of my emotions, no contact.....hmmmm
He is just draining the life out of me now and I feel he is playing me, so I am now done and sticking to the email rule. He will have lost control and this is what is making me angry, I am not an angry person but he brings it out in me....I feel like I am back to square one again after 3 weeks of doing so well without contact.
Thank you for reading.
xx