I feel like I’m going insane. I have split with my OH (currently 33 weeks pregnant). I don’t know if I’m coming to my senses or just being dramatic. Everytime we end I am left devastated and he seems happy as larry, even when it’s reasons such as he has been unfaithful. At the beginning (3+ years ago) he was so sweet. The first time we called it off, he was struggling with mental issues, I tried to help and stick by him but it got to the point he would follow me home from places such as the shops, he would turn up when I was out with my friends, threatened his life outside my house I I hadn’t answered his messages. Months after making up he’d then claim he couldn’t forgive me and that he always wanted one up on me. Because I broke it off he accused me of being with someone else, I wasn’t but being around someone like him I had to have space. Fast forward months, his mental issues seemed to subside and we would occasionally argue and he’d always bring up the fact i’d left him. He has never punched me but he’s grabbed my wrists a few times and screamed in my face, he’s got a knife out of a cutlery draw as an empty threat to make me leave, he’s locked me out in the back garden, lit my shoe lace alight and being drunk he’s also bit my nose and threw food off me. I don’t know what’s changed with me, I used to be happy and confident and if any of my friends were to speak about a situation like this I would think they were crazy. For a long time, I always felt worried about what could anger him and I avoid bringing up our problems because he can never sit down and talk them through. As his way of getting one up on me, him and my then best-friend had a fling that I was unaware of and they still keep in contact to this day, one thing if I bring up he will call me controlling and switch it onto me. I don’t know why I forgive him everytime when I wouldn’t dream of treating him the way he does to me, I know I let him walk all over me but I can’t help but forgive him everytime he runs back. Emotionally, I know he is manipulative, I can’t talk about a problem without him putting the blame on me or him putting us on a break but it’s easier to say then to actually understand it. At the beginning I felt assured in the relationship and when it ended I felt like it was for the best however now I can’t help but cling onto his words that I need him (I feel like I do) and he’s better off without me, when I treat him so well whereas he doesn’t with me. His family have always avoided his issues, his mental issues his mum put the blame on me claiming, I wasn’t giving him enough attention and he missed me. And when they’ve heard him raising his voice, they don’t acknowledge it. This has all came about because me and him were on good terms at the beginning of the week (civil because I’d pushed it for the sake of the baby) and I was invited to their family gathering this weekend. However he’s suddenly turned against me for no reason stating no one wants me there, I’m a laughing stock and if I dared turn up he’s not afraid to not let me through the door. I am drained and feel so stupid for being so attached to him when I sit and wonder what good qualities did he have that made me love him so much, other than the routine of being together since we were so young.