This is a long, confusing, F**@cked* up situation so i apologise in advance for the length of the post. But i have no one to open and honestly vent too, help would be appreciated.
I met my kids dad at 21 and within the 1st month of seeing each other i was caught pregnant. I was told i couldnt have children from a young age and i was blessed with our l/girl. immediately after finding out i explained to the dad that we was young and we didnt really know each other he was aware of my conception problems and that he didnt need to be involved i would do it all on my own. He decided he wanted to be involved.... fast forwarding a bit...... through the pregancy he became violent and began hitting, pushing and putting me down etc etc it got bad quickly but he kept telling me when he seen the baby was his he would change. over the last two years we have been through hell and back our daughter had life saving heart surgery and at times he is an unbelievably good dad however he still continues to treat me with no respect at all. its been a roller coaster. Fast forwarding again , apologies, i finally got the strength and courage to leave him me and my daughter moved to a new house and i have worked my arse off making it a home in the space of 2 months. He found out where we had moved and turned up he was absolutely gutted that i had done so well bearing in mind i didnt let him in he barged his way through my house and i couldnt get him to leave. we literally have not poken or communicated at all for around 2 months but we have been over for a while i got the courage to go on a date (and this is where i need some advice) nothing sultry or dirty just i accepted a dinner date as the babies dad as usual had turned nasty because i was refusing to go back to him and had made it extremely crystal clear we were done and i couldnt forgive what he continued to do to us it was too much for me and especially the baby. He enlightened me as per usual with all he had done behind my back while i sat at home taking his shit and the girls he had slept with etc etc. back to him barging in ...... so hes barged in an wouldnt leave..... hes been routing through my kitchen when he has found a reciept for mens shoes and he became really angry (understandably however we havent been together for a while) the reciept had come into my home after the lad i had gone on a date with bought me a massive bouquet of flowers and i had forgotton to throw the reciept that somehow had been stuck to the bottom my ex has found it and went mental i have just denied what he was on about because he would of attacked me there and then and finally got him to leave not with out his usual threats and disrepect to myself our child and my new home. my question is what the hell do i do ? i love him but he is NO GOOD and i walked away so why is he still doing this to me ? is it wrong i went on a date after we had been seperated for a while? i didnt sleep or anything like that with the lad i literally walked on the beach and ate food he dropped me off a few days later i explained to the new lad i loved the babies dad and wasnt ready to move on to now be met with my exs good old physcotic self there is genuinely no winning ..... please help what do i do ?????