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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

physcho ex, Crappy confusing situation help would be appreciated.

4 replies

anxiousmother1102 · 02/06/2018 19:14

This is a long, confusing, F**@cked* up situation so i apologise in advance for the length of the post. But i have no one to open and honestly vent too, help would be appreciated.

I met my kids dad at 21 and within the 1st month of seeing each other i was caught pregnant. I was told i couldnt have children from a young age and i was blessed with our l/girl. immediately after finding out i explained to the dad that we was young and we didnt really know each other he was aware of my conception problems and that he didnt need to be involved i would do it all on my own. He decided he wanted to be involved.... fast forwarding a bit...... through the pregancy he became violent and began hitting, pushing and putting me down etc etc it got bad quickly but he kept telling me when he seen the baby was his he would change. over the last two years we have been through hell and back our daughter had life saving heart surgery and at times he is an unbelievably good dad however he still continues to treat me with no respect at all. its been a roller coaster. Fast forwarding again , apologies, i finally got the strength and courage to leave him me and my daughter moved to a new house and i have worked my arse off making it a home in the space of 2 months. He found out where we had moved and turned up he was absolutely gutted that i had done so well bearing in mind i didnt let him in he barged his way through my house and i couldnt get him to leave. we literally have not poken or communicated at all for around 2 months but we have been over for a while i got the courage to go on a date (and this is where i need some advice) nothing sultry or dirty just i accepted a dinner date as the babies dad as usual had turned nasty because i was refusing to go back to him and had made it extremely crystal clear we were done and i couldnt forgive what he continued to do to us it was too much for me and especially the baby. He enlightened me as per usual with all he had done behind my back while i sat at home taking his shit and the girls he had slept with etc etc. back to him barging in ...... so hes barged in an wouldnt leave..... hes been routing through my kitchen when he has found a reciept for mens shoes and he became really angry (understandably however we havent been together for a while) the reciept had come into my home after the lad i had gone on a date with bought me a massive bouquet of flowers and i had forgotton to throw the reciept that somehow had been stuck to the bottom my ex has found it and went mental i have just denied what he was on about because he would of attacked me there and then and finally got him to leave not with out his usual threats and disrepect to myself our child and my new home. my question is what the hell do i do ? i love him but he is NO GOOD and i walked away so why is he still doing this to me ? is it wrong i went on a date after we had been seperated for a while? i didnt sleep or anything like that with the lad i literally walked on the beach and ate food he dropped me off a few days later i explained to the new lad i loved the babies dad and wasnt ready to move on to now be met with my exs good old physcotic self there is genuinely no winning ..... please help what do i do ?????

OP posts:
TemptressofWaikiki · 02/06/2018 23:40

Put a strong chain on your door and ensure the door is secure. Speak to the police and get an injunction for him to come around or harrass you. Also get in touch with Women's Aid and have a look at the Freedom program to help you with getting over an abusive relationship.

anxiousmother1102 · 03/06/2018 11:06

I have done all these things i have the chain and double locks on my doors and windows, i have been through the police and quite frankly they are useless and i'm in touch with all the relevant organisations. Its more the constant guilt that i cannot move on with my life even thpough he has completely destroyed well attempted to destroy our lives repeatedly and has no off switch for his physchotic behaviour. And how he justifys his actions but me going on a date while we had been split up for months is unacceptable to him and i am a slag etc etc this is coming from someone who lost his family by cheating and genuinely being abusive daily.

OP posts:
LetMeGo66 · 03/06/2018 11:14

You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. Your trying to move on.
Someone who loves you wouldn’t do the things he’s doing. He clearly needs help, but that help has to be away from you and your daughter.

How often does he see his daughter?

anxiousmother1102 · 03/06/2018 18:04

he doesn't he randomly picks and chooses one day that he wants to be a dad for 5 minutes then disappears or does these ridiculous abusive things and disappears again, its not healthy for our little girl or me which is why i have removed it from my life however it seems even though i have made it clear its over he feels its not.

OP posts:
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