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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Very Short Marriage how long to get a divorce

27 replies

Lovelife62 · 02/06/2018 19:08

My daughter has been married 6 weeks husband just confessed because he had to that he cheated on stag weekend and has continued the affair until the wedding now the OW is saying she is pregnant how long will she have to wait for a divorce

OP posts:
PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 02/06/2018 19:11

I think you have to have been married for 1 yr before you can divorce. Good luck

Pixikitten0123 · 02/06/2018 19:11

You can’t legally divorce until you’ve been married for 12 months unless the marriage hasn’t been consummated then you could seek an annulment. What a shit by the way.

Original poster
Lovelife62 · 02/06/2018 19:16

Thank you

OP posts:
Tilly1313 · 02/06/2018 19:29

One year- I got divorced after a year (we broke up after 4 months) all very embarrassing but she will get through it- I’m so much happier now. Good luck to you and your daughter x

TatianaLarina · 02/06/2018 19:30

Really sorry OP that’s supremely shit.

Sevendown · 02/06/2018 19:39

Can she get an annulment?

Original poster
Lovelife62 · 02/06/2018 20:03

Thank you all she feels so embarrassed and distraught its been a very difficult few days he is a total scum bag its difficult to say the right thing

OP posts:
bridgetosomewhere · 02/06/2018 21:43

Can it be annulled as he was cheating before the marriage took place?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 02/06/2018 21:46

I would look at getting it annulled otherwise it's going to be a VERY long year. Sending hugs to your daughter for the shitty situation she finds herself in.

Perfectly1mperfect · 02/06/2018 22:08

Your poor daughter. She has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of. Some men are very good at hiding things. Not now, but in time, she will realise that he would have had an affair at some point, because he's a shit so she has wasted a smaller amount of time on him than she could have. Things will get better for her, she will be ok.

As others before have said, you can't divorce til you have been married for a year.

Original poster
Lovelife62 · 02/06/2018 23:22

Thank you for your kind words they had been together for 11 years before getting married it was not the first time but she believed him when he said it would never happen again but getting another women pregnant before the wedding thats a blow to low

OP posts:
PrizeOik · 02/06/2018 23:27

Definitely seek legal advice with a view to annulment. I'm not qualified to give legal advice but I'm almost sure your DD will find she has grounds.

Poor DD.

Perfectly1mperfect · 03/06/2018 00:28

Lovelife62 That's awful. She is right not to waste anymore of her life on him. I think that she should seek legal advice as others have said. It's good that she has your support.

RedDwarves · 03/06/2018 00:35

I agree with seeking legal advice to pursue an annulment.

What a cunt that man is. I hope she can get out as quickly as possible.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/06/2018 03:05

Annulment is probably not an option (assuming it was consumated and he doesn have an STI).

Under UK law if your DD was pg by another man when they got married, he could get an annultment, but him getting another woman PG isnt acceptable grounds. Go figure Hmm

She will have to wait a year unfortunately. So sorry for her :(

Longdistance · 03/06/2018 03:12

Shock can’t believe how sexist the annulment is. ‘If the woman’s pg by another man’, that’s shocking that it doesn’t work the other way around.
It’s so backwards it not even funny.

So sorry your daughter has had to go through this. Wishing her a happy future without that turd Flowers

KittyWindbag · 03/06/2018 05:02

I’m so sorry for this. An extremely similar thing happened to my brother who was also with his partner for 11 years and then married for only months before the shit hit the fan.

It could bring your daughter very low, please advise her to take the counseling she will be offered during divorce proceedings. You have my utmost sympathy. I hate these people who just waste years of other people’s lives.

Urbanbeetler · 03/06/2018 05:07

I wonder if she could get a legal separation in the meantime which may protect her from some financial implications eg if she were to inherit money during that time? I’m not sure. It may also help her feel less married for the year?

Pavlova31 · 03/06/2018 05:18

I was wondering if she could apply for a separation at this stage too.
What a lying scumbag though.

millymae · 03/06/2018 08:58

There is clear advice on the Government website - not sure how to do links, but if you google it, you'll find it.
A blunt and sensitive question to ask - has their marriage actually been consummated? If not, it can certainly be annulled on those grounds.
Your daughter has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. He is the guilty party here. She can put steps in place herself to end the marriage, but my advice would be that legal advice would be the way to go. The money spent will be worth every penny if only to avoid her having to deal with him directly herself.
Make sure your daughter keeps any evidence (texts etc) of his wrongdoing as these will be helpful when making her case.

Cantbelievethis123 · 03/06/2018 14:32

I had a friend go through something very similar. He also said it started when drunk on his stag. Eventually came out that it had started a year before it and continued after the wedding aswell.
Your daughter needs to stay strong and get rid of this man. He's scum. It'll be hard as you can't divorce until you've been married a year but she'll get through it

Elledouble · 03/06/2018 14:37

My ex husband left me for the other woman six months in (but I believe it started before we married). Your poor daughter - I know how excruciatingly painful and embarrassing it feels. Please remind her that she has nothing to be ashamed about, he has.

We separated and eventually I divorced him on the grounds of 2yrs separation. It’s probably not what you or she wants to hear but it was the easiest way for us.

Horsemad · 03/06/2018 14:55

How could you prove whether the marriage had been consumated...?

Original poster
Lovelife62 · 05/06/2018 20:19

Thank you all for your replies she needs to see a solicitor but at the moment there is so much going on this pregnant women's friends are non stop sending her and her friends copies of messages he has sent and I do not believe she is pregnant they have know each other 12 weeks she is 10 weeks pregnant had the midwife round is this correct its a long time since I had a child. The definitely met on the stag weekend

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2018 23:34

She could well be pg and it could be his (10 weeks pg means conception happened 8 weeks ago as pg are dated from the date of the first day of the last period). But frankly I dont think that it matters, your DD is far better off without her STBXH.

And what a charmer he has in his OW, with her and her friends Jeremy Kyle style antics. Sounds like he wants DD back and her cronies are trying to make sure OW "wins" him by your DD binning him off.....