Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure if I’m over reacting or right to be upset

6 replies

2014mum · 02/06/2018 17:47

So me and dp have been going through a bit of a rocky patch since DC2 was born 4 months ago. I’ve been suggesting date nights regularly but we often don’t go as he says we don’t have the money/too tired/ baby might wake for the sitter.

I said this morning let’s have a date night in since we never make it out, rent a film and get a takeaway and wine and reconnect a bit he said yes ok let’s do that.

Fast forward to this afternoon his friends have asked him to come out as they’re going for some drinks and he’s jumped at the chance and said he’s now going there as he rarely goes out.

This is true, he’s only been out in the evening once she’s DS arrived but he does see them regularly during the day along with the kids etc.

I never thought I’d be that wife telling their partner he can’t go out but I’m hurt and I’ve told him I’m hurt and he’s not understanding why despite me explaining as above.

Would you be upset about this or just let it go as it’s rare he goes out?

His friends do go out regularly so it’s not like tonight’s his only opportunity, but they don’t invite him as much due to the baby.

OP posts:
pumpkinbump · 02/06/2018 17:52

I wouldn't be happy. He has made plans with you whether you're staying in or going out. And why does he said he can't afford to go on date nights with you yet he can afford to go out with his friends?

Gemini69 · 02/06/2018 17:55

He's acted very selfishly today OP Flowers

flumpybear · 02/06/2018 18:05

I'd make date night another night and stay in with a glass of wine and tv to myself! Then I'd make sure he realises you're super lovely for saying it's ok for him to go out .... and expect them some flowers tomorrow and a nice dinner out perhaps?

But yes I'd be a bit miffed

Jonbb · 02/06/2018 18:14

It sounds as though you spend quite a bit of time together but not fun time. My experience was it was good to spend time apart, me meeting up with friends and doing stuff for me, going to play tennis and to the pool. He went out with his friends doing stuff, otherwise you get bored with each other. I wouldn't have a problem with him going out even after we arranged a date night, but I would have a problem if he isn't paying me any 'attention' the rest of the time. Like flowers, treats, and hugs and stuff.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 02/06/2018 18:18

I would make it his responsibility to make it up to you. So a rearranged date night (in or out - seems the previous excuses don't apply now) is up to him to arrange.

Gemini69 · 07/06/2018 09:06

How you doing OP did he go out ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread