Struggling a bit with how to cope with useless ex.
Ever since I got pg with DS (6) ex-P has been a useless piece of shit. We split when DS was a baby. DS lives with me all the time.
We get on as friends - when he's being ok he's ok - but only because I accommodate his behaviour as some help is better than zero.
I do 99% of childcare. DS lives with me. I earn all the money, exP can't work (MH illness / physical health issues & complete uselessness) or contribute. I do all the cooking, all the organising, all the shopping, carting about, tidying, cleaning, DIY etc etc. Basically everything.
ExP is a glorified playmate who uses his illness as a convenient excuse to turn up only when he wants to. He's genuinely ill some of the time, but because he's also a lazy git this means a lot of the rest of the time he doesn't turn up.
I have no family nearby and being a fairly isolated LP life is lonely. In some ways I rely on him for company but am sick of being constantly let down by him. Oversleeping, can't be bothered to get in contact.
Usually late, to the tune of several hours. Completely unreliable.
I'm trying really hard to detach but it's hard without any other support (I also need to work as much as poss when I can). I can't make any plans to go out because I never know when he will be available. I maybe get one night out every three months.
I'm just frustrated to hell that he does sweet FA and gets to completely dodge any responsibility around actual parenting, a fair-weather parent.
I'm trying to balance between getting on for DS sake and needing a little help (however useless) as I am otherwise without any support, and increasingly frustrated by his complete inability to be responsible or available even when he's not properly ill.
Any advice welcome...,