Am I loving him..confused??

[Pragma]

Sorry guys it's going to be long.. but.thx for all who made to end

I'm an Asian,27 and married(arranged).working in retail supermarket. A guy on other dept caught my attention. Don't know y when I see him my heart really beats fast and will go crazy around him. He knows that I am looking at him.i messaged him in FB but never got reply. So I asked him to be my friend as he's younger than me I don't want to cheat on my dh(he is very good). But he rejected saying "I have enough frnds I don't want anymore". Broken and cried for days after that I avoided him. Coincidence or something else been observing him for many days after I avoided him he is coming over my dept just to pass by. He never did before like that. And before I'm leaving to my country he worked on my dept saying his ankle is no good to work on shop floor. Even though I go crazy around him I don't want to hurt myself about this feeling still avoided. But can't control myself when he is coming to my dept secretly watching him. A girl on my dept observed and asked me whom u r looking at.. I said no one. After few days she is with him coming and saying to me that he is very good and shy and she is trying to talk to him. Again next day she told me that he is chatting with her and they are like best friends now. Today he even gave lift to her to work and she is so happy about that. I felt really depressed and sad when I heard this. Am I feeling jealous/do I really like him. Im confident he never interested in me. Whatever he do to others when I'm their he don't even treat me as a person. But my heart is not accepting.

I did observed if he don't see me on shop floor he will come to my dept but don't know whether it's for me or not.

When I took sick leave he changed his shifts. Don't know if it's for me but before when I want to avoid him I took different shifts to not to see him(before leaving to my country)(I haven't seen him for 2 weeks)he came to work on my dept. Is this really a coincidence or he is trying to avoid me as I'm black or married(he knows)

Don't have anyone to share. Sorry about length.

You're married. He's not interested.

Aw bless you. It must feel quite isolating to havw no one in real life to share this with. So I rhink you have two choices to work through...

1. Ignore your feelings. Put it down to lust/a crush, bury the pain amd gope it will go away. The feelings you are feeling aren't based on much, are they? You and your colleague haven't spent any time together outside work, have you? So you can take it no further and put it down to a crush, if you like? Are you usually happily married?
2. Pursue this crush, risk your marriage. How would that play out? What are the outcomes of that?

He's not interested. You're married.

It's just a crush lovely, you'll get through it.

Are there problems in your marriage leading you to want a bit of escapism from reality?

I think it's perfectly normal for married people to experience crushes from time to time... just don't act on it x

He doesn't sound interested at all. And sounds like he's trying to avoid you. You sound a bit obsessed with him. Hopefully if you both avoid each other then it'll pass.

You're a married woman and off limits as far as he is concerned, from what you've said. You say your husband is a good man. Concentrate on getting fulfilment from your marriage. This is just an infatuation. It will pass.

Do not Facebook randoms. He is younger than you. You are married to a ‘good’ man. Don’t risk it all for nothing. Dream it in your head if that makes you happy, but for goodness sake stop looking at him because everyone will notice and it could end up getting back to your husband.

He enjoyed the attention but doesn't want to actually get involved with a married woman.

See this as a crush and don't do anything crazy. This will burn out.

You are in an arranged marriage. And sound desperately unhappy.

Work on how to get out of your marriage. You latching on to this guy as a fantasy says all you need to know. Instead, find your inner power to live the life you want.

By the way, being Asian or Black (or whatever you identify with) has nothing to do with you being allowed to live the life you want, it's other people - family/culture/society putting that onto you.

Wish you all the best moving forward with your life.

Thank you guys.. and I said to my husband from the first time I attracted. He often tease me about this. Our marriage is like having two besties in a room. I don't love him and he too. But he is very good at taking care of me. We r living together only BcZ of culture and society. I can support myself. I know it's just infatuation and when I leave this place I can forget this lad. Think still it's very good able to like someone.. I'm quite ok now by sharing with you all.thx