Need advice as not sure which way to turn

[mysfm]

My long term boyfriend told me he wasnt feeling himself anymore and felt like the person he used to be has gone. Said he feels nothing anymore for anything or anyone including me.

He is saying stuff like he is empty and hollow inside and feels like pushing the people closest to him away. He has this huge need inside of him to be alone and go through all this himself. That he knows people care about him but caring is not going to help him. He feels dead inside. Feels like his brain is going 100 miles an hour with constant thoughts. He hates himself and thinks he is a bad person. Not sleeping much and when he does he wakes very early. Cant stop his mind from racing.

So far he has been on three seperate anti depressents and none of them are working. He is losing hope. He must complete the course he is on now before the doctor will try another one.

He has deleted all his social media and interacts with nobody apart from having to go to work.

I have tried to be as understanding as possible as i am aware it must be terrible going through depression but i also feel like how i feel means nothing. For example i asked him if i gave him time to try and feel better and get his head together with us living apart i am willing to do that because i do not want to lose him and i dont want to split up over him being ill. He says things like i will be better without him. That i will go on to meet someone else and be happy in time. That he will not agree to me waiting for him as he doesnt want to give me false hope.

I have cried in front of him like never before because i couldnt hold it all in anymore and it didnt affect him at all. Its like every feeling he has inside of him has gone.

Currently we are apart. I asked tonight what i am to him now. As in an ex etc and he said i am a friend. I feel so sad and empty inside. We were together a very long time and its gone.

Is there hope of us getting through this in time? Is depression forever?

Can be. Can not be. Ive known both. It does seem to be a default position for the brain to fall back on though, once you've had it once I think the chance of reoccurring is really high.

You can only control whether you are there for him, not whether he wants you there and not whether he is able to care whether you are there or not. It won't be easy. The person you love won't be the person you encounter in your interactions and he might not want you around even if it's actually as he sees it for your own sake. It's not that he doesn't love you, I'm very sure he does he just doesn't have the capacity to feel it right now. You've got to be incredibly strong to hang onto to that love when everything is telling you otherwise.

On the upside he seems actually very motivated to try and get it sorted. Hang onto that, he must be trying hard. But there is no guarentee of success. You may also find you need to slip into a "carer" role in some capacities and that's a massive relationship shift to make. Especially when really the relationship is struggling anyway

First and foremost make sure you are well supported, financially and emotionally. But make sure that the patient support can operate independently from you bf because he is unlikely to be able to provide it. He needs to sort him now.

That your support not the patient Support!