Find a man that loves you more than you love him!

[Neweternal]

I work with the beauty sector and often older clients over the many year who have been in happy marriages gave me this advice. I always thought it was something that didn't appeal to me as I wanted someone I'm crazy for. As time has gone on I see how someone who adores you and you feel slightly less about can work. Any advice here from others. I saw this quote to and it makes me wonder.

JacintaJones
Men need to be kept a little insecure so that they tow the line.

How vile.

Be the adored but don’t exploit it!

I was the adored one. He utterly worshipped me and I felt so secure.

And then, one day, he didn't. And I loved him more than he loved me but it didn't save our marriage.

Trouble is, if they adore you more than you adore them, sometimes, one day, they want to be adored and go off to find someone who will.

Being the adorer is painful when the adored stops bothering to make any effort within the relationship.

the best advice... for any person no matter what is kept twixt legs..

get with someone that makes you happy

if you get with a dick that.cause naught but drama, or an abusive jerk off that 'keeps you insecure', or any other type of game playing piss ant. leave them ASAP and find someone else. (which is often easier said than done... but in general a partner should add to your life, not detract from it...or piss in corners)

Sounds irritating (and boring) to me.
As a pp has said, love ebbs and flows throughout a relationship. I have never once felt that DH loves me more than I love him, or vice versa.

Agree with PPs. Have been the adored and the adorer previously- being the adored was annoying and got boring fast, being the adorer was heart breaking.

Been with DH nearly 10 years and our feelings towards each other are equal. We both feel happy, secure and loved.

I’m the opposite of zapho! I was the adoring. He didn’t have to make any effort at all. But I would have done anything for him. It’s running out now, I do feel it’s my turn to be adored. It can’t go one way forever.

Find someone who you think is magic

And someone who looks at you and thinks you’re a little bit magic too

That’s the way to do it

Lol Taco.

You may call me vile all you please.
I'll be right of here in the meantime, being adored

I'll be right of here in the meantime, being -adored abusive

there you go, fixed that for you.

let's hope he wises up and fucks off.

if a man came on here and said you have to keep women insecure he'd be called an emotionally abusive cunt.
if that shoe fits...

Jacinta Until he gets bored of it because you don't adore him back.

I have been known to say that I want to be adored but it is bigger than that ofcourse I want to be respected and all the usual trimmings of a mutual loving relationship.

I'm not currently seeking a relationship .

I've adored and been adored back but it wasnt equal and didn't amount to anything, so I can see its bigger than simply being adored.

I've been adored/possessed over and I ran for the hills pdq.

The message just says to me don't settle.

Well it shifts the power balance. I suspect there are a great many relationships where one party has married the love of their lives and the other hasnt

Hmmm, there's something quite superficial about adoration.

I suppose there may be something in the fact that OP’s getting this advice from older women. If you’re looking at marrying for a lifetime, and you’re expecting to be a housewife, you want a faithful husband who will stay to the end and take care of you and your children. It may be more pragmatic settle for someone you just like if you believe they will always love you. Meanwhile if you go for the local heartthrob that every other woman wants and he thinks you’ll do to cook his meals and iron his clothes, well, your adoration of him will probably soon come to an end.

I don’t think the same logic holds true these days. Divorces are so much easier and women can be totally self sufficient. As such I would want equal adoration. I think
I would feel like a fraud if I couldn’t give the love back yet stayed with him. And I couldn’t deal with the stress of thinking he didn’t love me enough.

I don’t think this is quite true, but I do think that dynamics when a woman is chasing round after a man at the start of a relationship can be problematic, only because when kids come along, this sort of dynamic gets exacerbated. Having a mutually loving relationship with a loving and thoughtful bloke is surely the answer to this though

I think it's nice to have somebody to love. I would rather be dumped than fall out of love.

My dh always says 'choose a husband who loves you more than he loves himself'
He's not usually so insightful so this comment has alway stuck with me...been married 17 years this year.

I've heard that said before as well. Works for some.