Going round in circles in my head with this one. Has anyone had similar experience, or is able to see things more clearly than me.
In short I'm thinking about breaking up with my DP of 4.5 years, I'm just really not sure what to do for the best. Background: We met 4.5 years ago through internet dating. I really liked him when we first met as I found him easy to get along with. However there were problems for me. He was unwilling to give me personal space (I'm an introvert and need time on my own, especially when getting to know someone), he was very jealous and would constantly question any male friendships (he had no reason to), and he was very negative about plans I was making at the time to go travelling, and essentially all of these things made me feel a bit trapped. But after 9 months of seeing each other I feel pregnant by mistake. We really couldn't decide what to do. I wan't against the idea of a baby full stop, but was unsure whether I wanted a child with him. We decided to go ahead with the pregnancy (DD now 3), but he was quite negative about the idea of a baby throughout a lot of it, which was difficult to deal with.
Anyway, after DD was born things improved in terms of his behaviour. The jealousy went, and on the whole he is a good dad, and definitely enjoys spending time with his daughter. But there are different problems. Over the past three years we've had sex under ten times. At first this was due to my lack of interest after giving birth for tiredness/hormonal reasons. But now my sex drive is definitely back, I am just not sure I want to have sex with DP, and even if I did he never instigates it with me either (we have spoken about it, he says he is shy and will make more effort, but never has). We also spend very little time together. In part this is nobody's fault - we both work different hours, as well as looking after DD and so have little overlapping time together, but this does make me feel very lonely. And I suppose lastly my heart just isn't in it. I care about DP, but it's probably a stretch to say I'm in love with him.
However, in spite of these negatives I'm worried that breaking up would be the wrong thing. Largely because I'm worried it is a problem with me and how I handle relationships, rather than my relationship itself. I definitely have a tendancy to over think things, and wonder about what ifs. Maybe I lack sticking power, maybe I don't make enough effort to appreciate the positives. And there are positives; I like DP, he is kind, good father, similar values. And if we stay together we would provide a stable home for our daughter. Shouldn't that be enough?
I'm also worried that if I leave life would be very hard (I work, but part-time and low income), and that I would be alone forever, which isn't what I want.
Sorry this is so long.