Husband says he no longer feels the same

[Emma2204]

My husband of 14 years with two children 13&10 went out on a Saturday night, ended up at a house party and strolled in 12pm the next aftrnoon After my numerous calls expressing my anger at him. He came in still kind of hungover and after confronting him just said he can't do this anymore and just doesn't have the same feelings. Says he's felt this way for about six months. However I have not noticed any change or noticing him be unhappy during this time. Everything just seemed normal. He says that there is no one else involved he just doesn't know how he feels anymore. We are due to go on holiday in 4 weeks and still wants to go for the boys sake and however much I want him to go I just don't know if I can take the agony. It's day three since he dropped the bombshell and is still living here, he wants to stay until he can work enough money to secure a deposit. I've tried talking to him to see if we can try and work on it but he is just not the same person, Friday night and Saturday afternoon he was completely normal it's as if that person has disappeared in the space of a night . I am absolutely heartbroken and confused as he can't give me any answers to why the change. I have checked phone bills and Facebook for messages perhaps off someone else but nothing. He has not done disappearing act before this. 😓💔

Don't go on holiday with him - how dare he say you should both go for the sake of the DC! Trying to keep you in your box and going along with the split as if it is all quite rational (using the DC like that).

Blow it into the open. Tell everyone - families, neighbours, the milkman, everyone. Don't let it become your dirty little secret.

Then, tell him he must leave. He doesn't get to play happy families whilst not wanting to be married. It doesn't work that way. He needs to feel the cold winds of loneliness whistling through his life. Maybe there was someone else at this party, or maybe he's decided he's really 25 and wants that lifestyle, doesn't matter. He needs to feel the reality of what he's done.

Tell him he's not coming on holiday. Why would he even want to? He doesn't want to be married any more and that holiday was for married people. You go alone. Your kids are well old enough to help you out, and, if you go in four weeks, it must be pretty well all organised already.

Let him take the consquences of what he's said. He may, if it's just the lifestyle he's after, retract. But that's his problem. Not yours.