Husband taking crack.

[Askingforafriendiswear]

Posting for a friend who is dealing with some serious issues right now. So please be kind.

She found out that her husband has taken crack in the house on a few occasions. He has sworn it was three times only, the three times she suspects him of taking it in the house. Basically she found the paraphernalia confronted him and there were three occasions where looking back she thinks she knows he was probably using it in the House. So he has admitted to those.

He has a reputation for lying to her and has cheated etc before. Before anyone asks she stayed after the cheating because it was easier and financially they would have struggled separately. The family have dealt many health issues as well in that time along with other serious problems and I think maybe she just had enough on her plate mentally without getting in to divorcd.

Both are self employed. Married. Been together ten years. They have two lovely daughters who she obviously wants to protect and she wants him to leave but doesn't know how to go about it. She also has a job where her reputation is very important. If you knew them both you'd never suspect a thing.

She can't kick him out of the home they own together legally. What can she do to get proof that he is using? She has tried to get him to admit it on email but he isn't biting.

Can she kick him out if she does prove it?

What can she do to protect herself financially as he is self employed? Can she get help with benefits if she is self employed?

Does anyone have any experience regarding custody in this situation can she get an order in place where he needs to take urine tests before he has unsupervised access?

MIght be better in relationships actually.

After all of the rubbish he's put her through already, I have absolutely no idea why she's still looking for proof, surely it's already over

Along with heroin and meth, I've always considered crack to be a dirty and serious drug.

I don't think you can kick someone out of a house they legally own for doing drugs BUT I'm not sure. I think it could affect unsupervised access though.

I have absolutely no idea why she's still looking for proof, surely it's already over

She's still looking for proof because you cannot legally just kick someone out of their own home as I explained in the OP. We're not even sure if that would be enough to get an order for him to stay out of the house.

Along with heroin and meth, I've always considered crack to be a dirty and serious drug.
Yes, that's my thought. I'd be surprised if someone only did it three times. I may have seen too many public service announcements but I'm sure that you don't get casual crack users. Especially if they're doing it in the family home.

I don't think you can kick someone out of a house they legally own for doing drugs BUT I'm not sure. I think it could affect unsupervised access though.

I am hoping that the fact there are children in the house means that he could be kicked out.

Hi Everyone,

OP has asked if this thread could be moved to relationships, so we're going to be doing that now.

I guess it all depends on how brutal she wants to be.

she could report to the police, give the paraphernalia she found and also report to social services as a risk to her children (which he is)

no one takes crack 3 times and stops. its highly addictive and he would have most certainly taken other drugs before he got to this point.

she needs to go and see a proper qualified solicitor now - today. she needs to be 100% open and honest about what he has been doing and the effect on the family and her.

staying and doing nothing isn't an option. she needs to go and get some proper help now to support her through what will be difficult and traumatic but ultimately the only step she can take to protect herself and her children.

there is lots of professional help out there. have a look at the addictions board on here for information on places that she can get support.

no one can answer the specifics on finances without detailed information which you cannot really give here. she needs to focus on going and talking to professionals that she can give all of the information to so that a proper plan can be worked out and she will know where she stands financially.

Id get out for her kids sake. Crack is a serious addiction as far as im aware you cant just take it occasionally and be ok.

My husband had an issue with coke years ago. If I found out he had gone back to his old ways he would be out no matter what Im not willing to have it around my dcs.

Because of my odd social circle I know people who have taken "the big three" (crack, heroin, meth). And not all of them are now drug addicts. But given he has used at least 3 times (pah!), at home (alone?), I think it is highly likely that if he doesnt have a habit he may develop one. And I am also assuming this waant 3 times over a 5 year period. Lots of people develop heroin addictions as a secondary thing to stimulant use, too (to help with the come down). It isnt looking good.

Honestly I think she would be justified involving children's services. If she has the paraphanalia, she has some proof. I dont work in any legal profession but in civil stuff the burden of proof is "on the balance of probabilities" I believe rather than "beyond reasonable doubt" like in criminal law. So that may help.