What do I do when dh tells ds that I don't love him.

[Jamum]

Today I've been feeling quite ill, run down and generally depressed.
Dh and I not getting on very well at all atm.

Anyway, short story is Ds is climbing all over me and I ask dh to take him, to just give me a few minutes peace and dh says to ds
'Come on, Mummy doesn't love you'

and other similiar things.

It makes me so mad, and I don't want ds to see me like it so I leave the room.

This happens quite often when dh will say hurtful things about me to ds, because he's pissed off with me.

It makes me feel so powerless. I just want dh to leave but he won't. I can't leave as I've nowhere to go, and besides the house was mine before I ever met dh, although now of course he's on the mortgage. Dh refuses to leave, says he wants to stay with me, but I can't bare him anywhere near me anymore.
I'm so unhappy I just don't know what to do. I just ds and I to be happy and in a peaceful calm environment.

Sorry, have rambled on a bit

Call him on it! Throw a fucking fit! How dare he use your son like that, does he realise that what he is doing is child abuse!??

Go to see a solicitor. Or the CAB if you cannot afford it.

not much to say except, 'tosser'.

Agree with Colditz, See a lawyer asap and next time not-so-d h tries this sort of thinly-veiled insult, speak up and tell ds it isn't true.

I immediately said to ds that of course I love him.

I'm so so angry I'm shaking

WTF
appalling

I am so sad for you and ds, please do anything you can to sort out this situation

That's abuse, it really is

Feel so on your behalf, it must be a horrid situation for you

Serioulsy think if he does this a lot, then his suitcase needs to come down out of the attic

And I am not one of the MN kick-em-out brigade as a rule

Could he be the reason for your depression, by chance?

God that's awful, you should not have to put up with this, ghet advice asap xx

You're right peachyChocolateEclair, I've tried so hard to get him out, but he absolutely refuses to go. Says all his money is in the house, he has nowhere to go, and if he went he would take ds with him.

I'm very tempted to change the locks while he is at work, bujt could imagine his anger and fuss he would make when he got home and realised.

You really need legal advice, you can divorce him on the grounds of unreasonable behavior and then he will have to move out.

I wold realy go see the CAb and consider finding a decent lawyer

Sounds like this mummy doesn't love you is priming DS for a custody battle?

He really is a nasty manipulative piece isn't he?

See a solicitor. YOu can divorce him and he will have to go.

PeachyChocolateEclair, hadn't though of that

I might be completely wrong- you know him, I dont- didnt eman to scare you

Don't leave but if you divorce him you are likely to get the house and he will have to go so if you want that then start that process. Hopefully he won't use your problems against you to get the children and house although I suppose it's a slight risk.

It's not child abuse though whoever said that. First of all he might have meant it as a joke (pretty sick joke but some people say silly things) and secondly perhaps he genuinely believes it is true.

My son said today his father (who doesn't see him much) didn't love him and gave his reasons. I said he did.

Jamum

Colditz has said it all. Get rid of him - poor you and your poor child.

I don't know/recall details of your particular situation but if/when it came down to residency of ds then if you ahve had problems (am guessing depression??) then SS have a duty to support you in your care of your child. You'd have to be unable to feed, love or care for your child for your dh to gain residency on the grounds of your capabilities versus his.

Is family therapy an option you haven't tried?

I didnt mean child abuse Xenia

wife abuse

emotionally cruel wife abuse

abuse comes in amny formats

It is child abuse to make your child believe the other parent doesn't love him. It's using a child's lack of understanding against them. I would have been devastated to be told my beloved mummy didn't love me when I was three - who would purposely do that to their child?

Doubly abusive then

So make him leave doubly fast

He sounds quite controlling so you might find womand aid a good start, they cover the emotional stuff as well and have lots of knowledge in the field.

It's mental abuse for botht eh OP and her little child.

He's a waste of space.

Make him leave and get on with your life.