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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cheating bf

12 replies

maryjorach · 28/05/2018 21:47

Last year I found out my bf of 2 and a half years was sexting someone and they had kissed at a wedding in her hotel room. I'm still with him but it's just not working, I don't trust him even though his really trying..he gives me his phone he hardly ever goes out & he is good to me but I just don't see a future with him. When I broke up with him last year he mentioned his life isn't worth living without me & I fear for his mental state

OP posts:
Blondebakingmumma · 28/05/2018 21:53

Whatever you choose to do, you are not responsible for his mental health.
I honestly think it will be hard to mend the relationship if the trust is gone

dirtybadger · 28/05/2018 21:59

My ex was "suicidal" after I broke up with him.

He was engaged within 12 months.

I wouldnt worry about him too much.

Lots and lots of people say similar things. Some are being purely manipulative, some arent (but it is still unintentionally manipulative). If you have a genuine and immediate concern then ring emergency services. If its less immediate then if you know his family or friends, just tip them off and then leave them to it.

SandyY2K · 28/05/2018 22:24

He should have thought of that before he cheated. He is responsible for his health. I would contact his family members and bring them up to speed on everything. He's not your problem.

Original poster
maryjorach · 29/05/2018 14:00

Thank you

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/05/2018 15:13

As everyone else says, his mental health is not your responsibility.

He's just using emotional blackmail to stop you leaving because he's a cheating dickhead.

You deserve much better than this. Ditch him.

meowimacat · 29/05/2018 15:38

I've had a few exes say they are going to kill themselves when I've ended things. None...I repeat...none have done anything. It is a tactic because they know you care and they are desperate to make it work so will say whatever to keep you there. It's not nice and not fair on you.

At the end of the day, he made a mistake you have tried to move on but you can't. Don't feel guilty for that. He will be just fine in time as will you. It's always scary to go from being in a relationship to being single, but as you say it's clearly not working. Who wants to go through a relationship checking up on their partner. Move on, and don't feel guilty!!

GibbertyFlibbert · 29/05/2018 15:42

"As everyone else says, his mental health is not your responsibility."

Disagree. You are knowingly causing the problem so obviously you are responsible

hellsbellsmelons · 29/05/2018 15:43

He is an adult, in charge of his own choices and decisions.
You are not responsible for that or his happiness.

You tried - you know that - but it's not working out.
You know what you need to do.

Original poster
maryjorach · 29/05/2018 17:10

I'm not responsible for his health

OP posts:
Original poster
maryjorach · 29/05/2018 17:13

Yeah I know what I need to do. Matter of time. Thank you

OP posts:
Gloryificus · 29/05/2018 17:19

Clearly his life was worth living while sexting,/kissing other woman....He's just having issues since he was caught out.
All this tells you is he doesn't care about the effects on your mental health of his actions.
He needs to be responsible for his own health and his actions
you can't keep yourself tied to him to keep him "alive" how unhealthy is that seriously

Lacucuracha · 29/05/2018 17:29

He'll be telling his next gf that life is not worth living without her. Fear not. Ditch him.

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