Sorry it’s going to be a long but trying to not dripfeed.
Throughout early years and teenage years I had a very volatile relationship with my mum, she was often violent during arguments (which often lead to me fighting back in my older years) and there was a period of nearly a year when I was 17 that I didn’t speak to her/moved out because I couldn’t cope with her mood swings. She was also like this with my dad pre-divorce. I am now in my mid 20’s btw, she is in her late 40’s.
We have been okay for a good few years now, we live quite far away and she has a good relationship with my children (but I never let them stay overnight) and she is insanely pleasant towards everyone these days.
I had my hen do at the weekend, naturally she was invited and had put together a quiz and made some food to bring - I was really happy with her effort and had been in contact with her a lot recently due to the impending wedding.
I traveled to where all my friends and family live for the hen do weekend. On the Friday night, I was supposed to be staying with a relative who accidentally put the latch on and I couldn’t get in with the keys. My phone had died and I couldn’t wake them. So I walked to my mums, I was very sorry that I had to wake them all up (midnight by this point) and she was originally fine with it. Then, she came into the living room at 5.30am where I was asleep and screamed at me that I was selfish and hadn’t changed since my teenage years. I left pretty quickly. When she arrived to the hen do that day, she demanded I apologised, which I did just to clear the air. As the day proceeded, she berated me in front of my friends (some are used to as have been friends for 10+ years and others aren’t familiar with it at all) she playfully smacked my head, but it was pretty hard and didn’t feel ‘playful’ at all. She was annoyed that I didn’t leave at the time she was leaving (despite all my guests still being there) so threw the book that had been bought by my bridesmaids with messages and photos in it. Others commented on her trying to shoot me down as I spoke, and I said to her firmly ‘stop trying to ruin my day or you need to leave’. I feel so downtrodden now, I can’t tell her she cannot come to the wedding (it will also mean my teenage siblings won’t attend as they are coming with my mum and step partner) and it would be very obvious and I imagine all day people would ask me where my mum was. DP and I are now worried about what her behaviour will be like at the wedding and I’m heavily considering going NC after it. Which will be incredibly hard because I do love her and when she’s good, we are good but I’m not sure I can take this anymore. Aibu to go NC? Has anyone done it successfully before?