Pregnant & cheated on

[senzaparole03]

Last night, dp came back from work and when we hugged he was being very shaky and nervous.
I pushed it, and he told me he cheated on me a couple of months ago.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant today.

At the moment, I don't know how many times with how many women, but I do know that he planned it - he went online, registered on a dating site, and met at least one woman that he had sex with.

He said it has been playing on his mind, but I reckon something happened yesterday evening to trigger the admission.

I don't even know how to approach this to figure myself out. I have no family around, and I don't want to tell friends, at least not yet.
We have been together 4.5 years, getting married next year and planed this pregnancy together. He seems to adore me - even in the recent months he has always been affectionate and supportive (though we haven't had sex since I began showing, i think a mix of not finding me attractive and afraid of too much pressure on my belly).

We've been so excited for our first baby together, and this just destroyed me last night. I genuinely never, ever thought he would do this to me/us.

I asked him to leave for a while, and then after I went to bed i allowed him to come in to the house to sleep on the couch.

We're going to talk when he finishes work today. How can i believe a word he says?

I also believe something has rattled him, that is always when they tell.

I have been in your boat OP, albeit it was in very early pregnancy and we split for the pregnancy and early months. We are back together now but it was a long, draining road and like others, if I had been my first DC I would have been out. You can think about all this stuff later down the line, you just need him out for now so that you get to make a decision without hearing the grovelling/lies. You need to find out the whole truth before you can make any decisions. Think about you right now, not your baby as the baby is only going to need for a while, and is going to be oblivious to all of this.

Thinking of you

You deserve so much more!
I agree with others, send him packing to his parents, let them know what he has done and get on entitled to find out what you can claim. Tbh with what he had done I'd still expect that he pay his part on rent and bills until you can figure it all out. Think of it as the start of child maintenance.
Only you can decide where you go from here, but he went to a lot of effort to cheat, it wasn't just a random occurance (which as pp have said, is not okay anyway). He thought first then acted.
I think he should be on the birth certificate, don't punish your child for you dhs mistakes. Think long and hard about having him with you during delivery if you do chuck him out. You can have two people with you if you don't want to be alone with him. You don't even have to allow him, however it would be the first step on your co-parenting duties.
Let us know how you get on, sending lots of support and hugs!

Bless you. I wish you all the success and support leaving the low life cheating scum wanker!

You can do it, never settle for less than what you deserve you magnificent childbearing queen !

Xx

My ex cheated on me when I was pregnant (I caught him in the act)
I ended the relationship there and then and didn't speak to him again until 3 weeks after DS was born .
It was very difficult but I knew I was worth more and you are too.
DS is 4 now and goes to his dad's every Saturday morning - Sunday evening and I'm with my new partner expecting our first child together .
Things don't always work out how you expect them too but they will work out x

I agree with the PP that suggested the entitled to website, you will undoubtedly be eligible for help whilst on SMP.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you at such a late stage in your pregnancy as well. I also agree with PP’s suggesting a STI check, he has hugely put you and his child at risk. I suspect there’s more to this and the OW has threatened to expose him hence him being shaken and confessing.

I can understand it being a terrible predicament to be in but he PLANNED to cheat which somehow makes it so much worse than a drunken mistake. If he can do it once, he can do it again and you deserve more.