I don't know what to do

[FozzieBear123]

This is my first time posting. Please be kind!
Tonight my partner of 11 years told me our relationship is over. Things have not been good since he announced about 6 weeks ago that he doesn't want another baby. We have a DD who is 2 and I'm DESPERATE for another child. Since telling me he doesn't want any more children, lots of other things have been said by him about our relationship and after much soul-searching he has decided he's not happy.
I just don't know what to do. He's my life and my world but I can't make him stay so I have to accept it's finished. Plus him not wanting another baby would just make me resent him in the long run.
I don't know what I'm going to do. He pays for pretty much everything. I work PT but only earn £8,500 a year. A pittance. I don't drive, my parents are not in the best of health. We rent a 3 bed house but I can't take it on myself. He said he would see us right financially for the time being, he would continue paying for the house until I can get somewhere else, but then what? How can I pay for rent on a place when I earn such a low wage? Where do I go for help? I don't want to be on benefits but I'm going to have to be aren't I? I'm 40 and my life as I know it is over. I can't breath.

Hi op. Don't want to read and run.

I'm sure others will be along with good advice regarding your finances.

But - You will be ok. It will be crap for a while, and painful and sad, but you will be ok. You will feel better than you do now, I promise.

Reach out to friends and family in real life, and take support - emotional and practical.

Good luck with everything.

Short term - speak to your employer about increasing your hours

Medium term - get into a better paid position. That could be with your current employer , or training to seek better paid employment.

Are you married? If not, you can claim a variety of things. Child tax credits and housing benefit. You might be able to stay in the house and claim housing benefit to cover the rent. In fact that might be easier than trying to move somewhere else and find a deposit etc. Don’t make any rash decisions. Take some time to work things out before agreeing to do anything. You can make a claim through the CSA for maintenance too. There is an online calculator. Do you know how much he earns?

www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

You will be entitled to working tax credit to top up your earnings and child tax credits to pay for childcare. Look at entitledto.com for rough figures. Get applying quickly as there can be a delay between applying and receiving support.

I'm so sorry OP

Thank you everyone for your replies. I've had zero sleep and can't quite function today but will look into what I'm entitled to as soon as.
I never knew heartbreak could actually physically hurt. I'm nervous about telling my family but I know I'm going to need their support.

One day at a time OP. I promise you your life isn't over. The one you knew is but you can carve out any number of lives now.

Be kind to yourself. Its a dreadful time. Day by day x

He said he would see us right financially for the time being

Given that you have a daughter together, surely he should be 'seeing you right' until she is grown up.

Oh absolutely. I'm sure he will. What I meant was he'd see us right financially by paying for all the things he has always done i.e rent, food, bills etc until I'm able to claim whatever it is I can claim. He has assured me he will pay maintenance etc.
What a sorry mess this is.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I well remember the pain, and the panic, but you will be ok.

My advice would be to draw up a list of outgoings so that you know what you need to live on, then talk to Tax Credits, calculate child maintenance and make an appointment to see the Benefits Agency.

You'll then know how much your shortfall is and how much to ask him for, or by how much to increase your hours at work.

I found seeing a solicitor very empowering too, so that I had a rough idea of what I could reasonably expect from the family assets.

And start to tell people, you need the support. They say it takes one month for every year of marriage, to recover, and that was certainly my experience.