Me I mean, with her. We were sort of acquaintances for years (overlapping social circles) and I’ve always liked her. DC’s of similar ages and live fairly similar lives.
My relationship broke down about five years ago and was single for a long time after. Then a few months later, I heard that she’d left her DH for another man and they got divorced. Unfortunately the new relationship didn’t work out and she has also been single since.
About 2 years ago, I bumped into her ex-husband at a conference and we ended up going for a drink. We had such a great time and it was all very unexpected but we fell in love over time and are now about to move in together.
I have a good relationship with his DC’s, he has a good relationship with mine and also his ex-wife and I get along. At a distance to be fair, but we respect and I think we actually like each other too.
However, a few of my friends thinks it is really weird and that we should not become friends as it’s messed up.
I am certain that there are no romantic feelings between my DP and her, the marriage had been over for years by the time she left. They were living like siblings and had not had any kind of sexual relationship for very many years, since the youngest was born.
She is on her own and last Christmas, we invited her over to have lunch with us and both sets of DC’s as it was his “turn” to have the kids for Xmas and I felt sorry that she was going to be by herself. She doesn’t have any other family close.
As I say, I trust that the relationship between DP and her is a purely platonic one. They were friends for years before they got married and TBH, I think it was a sort of marriage of convenience as they both wanted children and hadn’t found the right person to have them with and time was ticking by rather than a great passion between them.
Am I tempting fate by inviting her to be so close? Am I being naive and foolish to extend a hand of friendship?
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Relationships
Is it possible to be friends with the ex wife?
NCforthisthread18 · 27/05/2018 14:01
I get on far better with ExH's first ExW than I do with him 
Before he became ExH we were always amicable and would sometimes do joint Christmas etc, it's much better for any DC involved if you can all get on.
ExH and ExW1 had split up a few years before I met him so there were no 'OW' type issues and she was happy to be rid of him, I eventually worked out why, hence the ExH.
While some people might find it odd, I think if you can all be amicable/friendly then it's much easier for any DC and much more pleasant especially if overlapping social circles etc.
I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends as such, but she is pleasant company and civil and gets on well with my DC’s, as I do hers.
That sounds very healthy tbh, if you can keep it on those terms then it will make life much easier for everyone 
We nearly managed that but DH’s ex is very prone to overstep the boundaries and we both got quite irritated by her using him as a kind of ‘fallback’ to emotionally off-load, for eg about her new DP’s temporary mental health issues a few years back (he would have been mortified if he’d known, and it was after DSD had left home so really totally none of our business) so we have been careful about keeping a bit more of a distance.
Ive just been out with my BF, his exW, her new partner and all their kids. I sat next to exW for dinner, enjoyed seeing her and had a lovely evening. It was one of the dc’s birthday. Have done the same recently with my exH, his GF and my kids, also for dc birthday.
A good friend of mine said ‘isn’t it confusing for the kids’ (who are all teens). Er, nope 
My FiIL left MiL when DH was 13 for an OW. It was horrible, acrimonious and traumatic. Both remarried. FIL is now on 3rd wife and MiL is a widow. However, through family events - weddings, births of grandchildren, funerals, etc - MIL and FIL have become friends again. They are both over 80 now and it's great. Usually all are together at Xmas and get invited to each other's big birthday parties. To be able to put all that behind them and get on well, is so helpful too when organising family get togethers. It's admirable OP, not weird
My partners mum and his step mum were really close, used to go for drinks together etc, still talk all the time. Partners step mum and dad are now divorced and his dad has a new partner who’s not very nice, partners mum and ex step mum text about her when she does something mad sounds bitchy but oh well. It’s definigely possible, we also see ex step mum all the time still, as she’s the mother of my partners sisters!
My exh and I are very good friends and he is also friends with my DP. We all just attended my DSS wedding together. We arrived in the same taxi as it was practicle but we did get some strange looks from others. DP and exh then headed off to the bar chatted loads and stayed in rounds the whole day...which was nice for me as I did not buy 1 drink 
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