Hey all, I’m 28F
Boyfriend of 11 months (29) went on holiday last week, came back a few days ago. During the holiday, he would initiate conversation via WhatsApp and then just ignore me (as in log on to WhatsApp numerous times and leave my reply back on unread) for a day after. I thought I’d let it go considering it was his time with friends but it did bug me. Unfortunately for me, he went away during a time my friends and cousins were all busy as well, and reading and gymming all day was getting to be a bit boring so I was really struggling to keep myself occupied which only highlighted my overthinking. Work has also been dry and as I’ve been working at home It’s all feeling isolating.
On the day he did come back, I managed to see him for a few hours in the evening which was nice however yesterday he was initiating contact on WhatsApp and then has since ignored me. He has has also turned off his last online which hasn’t been the case before and since I’ve been With him. It's just shy of 24 hours since the last contact.
I didn’t mention anything during or after that holiday to give the impression I was feeling a little bit deflated with the ignoring part, or that I’d even noticed (trying to appear as the cool have-a-great-time gf) so I was trying to overlook it and I haven’t sent a follow up text now as I don’t know whether I should?
We are not the type to speak back and fourth within the hour all day, but if one of us is busy we will always give the other a quick call to say mad day how u been, I’ll have to speak to you tomorrow etc and actually blue tick the message so at least the other knows we have acknowledged it. So it’s never been the case of these tactics.
I know He was having a catch up with his friend after work last night but my last text to him was long before he even finished and he has been active on Facebook. (FYI I didn’t go out my way to check this, I clicked on messenger to message someone else and it said he was active 8 hours ago as my last open chat was with him)
I just want some advice to know whether I’m just generally over reacting over this whole thing. Should I highlight it? Ignore it and deal with it? Keep an eye out on this and then highlight if it carries on over the next week? I think it’s worse when I’m not occupied and my ex used to do this to me all the time. however he was doing it for malicious and “other” preoccupied obligations.
My worry is, that I’ve now started a habit which I don’t feel is ok but if this is the norm amongst other couples that don't live together / see each other a couple of times week or just in general then I know I need to change my way of thinking. I really don’t want to appear as a clingy or needy girlfriend as I can normally hold my own but I just feel ugh. Maybe it’s now the beginning of a new stage in our relationship where it is dying down and he is getting comfortable?
Just to clarify, It's the blatant ignoring me which is upsetting me, not the time taken to get back to me. Surely it doesn't take much just to ring or message your other half and say that you are busy, I'll get back to you when I can? I know that times have changed and people never had the luxury of instant contact before and other couples don't get to speak to each other at times due to work, and I really do feel sorry, so I'm not trying to rub salt to the wounds. Just as unbiased as can be responses would be great.
Sorry for the long post.
TLDR: whilst boyfriend went away and has come back our communication habits have changed as he seems to converse with me on his terms