New date - excited

[toffeeapple123]

Hi, I have been seeing an emotionally unavailable man for the last 6-8 months. It's been on and off, exciting, but also awful at times. Tried my best to walk away, but it just isn't happening. I do love him. But as we're not in a properly committed relationship, I thought dating others may help to put things into perspective with this guy and hopefully wean me off him. I feel guilty, and while we're meant to be exclusive, I didn't agree, and he hasn't agreed to be committed.

So I went on online dating and a super good looking - totally my type - and smart guy, with loads of similar interests, and who works in my industry asked me out for a coffee.

It is so nice to be excited, but how excited should I be?

I want to be excited and interested anyway - naturally - and enjoy it for what it is. However, how excited should I be - given that most first dates don't go anywhere?

On here for positive words and encouragement please!

Finally something to look forward to. And to feel good about myself, even though I am still a dress size too big - but hopefully new men won't notice that. My self esteem is quite low at the moment.

The other men aren't so appealling on the website just yet!

And to feel good about myself, even though I am still a dress size too big - but hopefully new men won't notice that. My self esteem is quite low at the moment.

Stop this. A dress size too big for what? It is a date, not an interview for a woman with a particular dress size. Go, enjoy and as with all first dates, just accept it for what it is. Which is a chance for a man to meet you.

You are good enough, just as you are.

Practice saying it in your head, it sounds stupid but it's done my self esteem the world of good.

Smile, relax and know that you are good enough.

And be excited, you're moving forward. Do it on your terms though.

I met my husband online, he's the most wonderful person I've ever met and our paths would never have crossed in real life. I'd have missed out on an amazing life with him.

If nothing else, you're going for a drink with an attractive and (hopefully) interesting man, will have a good evening, and as you've said - this is a great first step towards breaking things off with the man who doesn't make you happy. So, look forward to it and get a little excited. But certainly don't build this man up in your head to be a god - you're not auditioning, you don't need to be a dress size smaller, you just need to be you. That's who he's asked out on a date, isn't it? He wants to meet you, not a different you .

IME we build men far to much in OLD and put ourselves down