Delayed breakup grief

[Jellyfish456]

I am single as of about 8 weeks (I was the dumpee, not the dumper) and we were together for 3 years.

Anyway, initially I found it difficult obviously but after a week I was astonished by how strong I was all of a sudden. I seemed to rise above it much better than expected and barely cried.....until about 3 days ago.

My ex has now started posting photos with other women on his Facebook (not friends - random women from nights out in poses that I am not being unreasonable to assume they weren’t just together at the nite club) after having said he needed to be alone to focus on himself and this has hit me now harder than expected - this apparent 180.

I feel like it’s only just hitting me properly and though I’ve tried to go along with friends urges to “get back on the horse” - I don’t feel I can just now and my self-esteem is rock bottom on top of it all.

When will this all pass? When will I be okay again. I just want to be happy

To put into context - I hadn’t been feeling all that great about myself (esteem wise) for a couple of months and after we broke up I (foolishly) asked was he no longer attracted to me and he said (not in a cruel way) that while I was still beautiful, he was no longer sexually attracted to me. This wasn’t the reason for the breakup but an additional factor I suppose.

You really need to go no contact. Sorry, but both of you need to be able to go out on the town without thinking/wondering if it will get back to the other.

Block him on Facebook, Insta etc. Hard, but you will feel better.

Sorry, I should have said that I’ve since removed him on social media

I left my ex weeks ago not because I didn’t love him or want him but I could see him fading out and I couldn’t deal with the stress of watching him lose interest. At first I was ok and was massively strong but have since hit a downer now. I guess at first friends rally and you keep busy but then normality strikes up. This is where you find yourself going to work coming home and noticing the gaps where they once were. This is me right now anyway. Sick of the years when I am alone in the middle of the night!

You’re right @dimael - I really feel for you - it’s not nice at all. I’ve always said I’d rather break both legs than have to deal with a breakup

Hope you feel better soon

I think it can take a long time for some. I broke up 6 months ago and still hurts a lot, not as much as it did or as often though. Not sure how to do the flowers thing but both of you have some from me!

Attracted to you but not sexually attracted to you? Am I missing something or was he saying that you're bad in bed?

I wouldn’t take that from it Name

OP. He doesn’t hang around does he?

LeChatDeNuit, I don't mean to sound dense, then what would he mean?

He didn't say he was attracted to her but not sexually attracted. He said she was beautiful but he was not sexually attracted.

I'm still a bit

I’d take it to mean that the sexual chemistry had gone. I think plenty of people are beautiful but don’t want to sleep with them. I wouldn’t take it to mean somebody was bad in bed.

It's irrelevant to the op question though!

Yeah, it probably was irrelevant to the question but I was slightly confused. Thanks for the explanation! 😊

Feelin' your pain today. Split with husband a few months ago because, long story short, he refused to give up his business which makes no money or take part in housework or DIY etc and our DD was beginning to suffer imo, i was suffering from carrying everything and everyone single handed, and stressed with no savings, no pension and so on.

I felt better/strong at first, particularly when he started blaming me for his lack of activity but now he's moved out i realise how well we get on. Yeah, i like the breathing space and running my own home without a passenger and my money being my own, but i sure miss the good bits wondering if its possible/a good idea to have a relationship and coparent but just live separately? Sorry to hijack