Is it a rebound?

[grumpymoominmoo]

Had a pretty awful relationship in the end with XP

At the start it was good

Was a LTR and we have DC

I initiated the split and it was clear he was devastated when I began dating again. Never tried to get me back as such but was hurt, said he missed me, begged to know if I was staying overnight with someone (this was about a year ago)

Then he said he didn't want a relationship. Would have to accept we were over. Crossed over into the hate zone where he literally couldn't cope with any pleasantries. Seemed like he was gunning to have a row over anything re our DC. I cut contact between us

Just found out he's met someone and moving in (approx 6months on from me cutting contact)

Rebound or genuinely moved on?

Could be either. Why does it matter to you?

You have been split a while by the sounds of it. Its impossible for anyone to say wether its a rebound or not.

Not sure really why it matters. A lot of conflicting feelings tbh that I didn't expect and unsure if it's just a rebound thing or the real thing by now

Could be either. But none of your business

Why is it none of my business? To wonder if my long term exP and DC dad has genuinely moved on or is on the rebound?

It's not like I've asked him! But I think I'm allowed to wonder ffs

You didnt expect him to meet someone else?

What are the conflicting feelings?

You need to let this go and move on. His new relationship isnt anything to concern yourself with.

It doesnt matter that he is DCs dad. His relationship is his business.

And no one can tell you if its rebound or not. Only time will tell. If you found out and knew 100% wetherit was rebound or not....how will that improve or impact your life? Or you kids lives?

It's a bit of a surprise yes I suppose

Thought I would just be relieved when he finally got over me

I'm not sure what you think I'm going to do with a conclusion of rebound or genuine other than sort my own feelings out? I cut contact with the man...

I feel it's my business what I wonder about especially concerning him

I'm not sure when wondering became a crime!

I get it - I left my ex, absolutely did not want to be with him and I moved on very happily. But I still felt a little... I don't know, something when I heard he'd got married. I think it's natural.

As for him, it could be the real thing, it could be a rebound, it could be a rebound that turned into the real thing. Just be glad you're not the one marrying him.

Thanks @MeltingSnowflake I found myself wondering if it hadn't already happened I would be wanting him back by now as this alien feeling of missing him has crept in.

I thought I couldn't stand him anymore to the point I cut contact.

It's really bloody odd.

Wondering if I was on the rebound before now myself. And then I'm wondering if he's rebounding also.

Not going to get back in contact but I am curious

Although you knew you stopped loving him, deep inside, it was still nice to know that someone loved you so much. You just didn't realise it at the time because you were focused on the fact that you wanted to move on.

Now that you realise that all his undivided love for you has gone for someone else, and he only cares for you as his child's mum rather than you as a person, it feels like you've lost something.

Totally normal to feel this way, just make sure you don't act on it. He is doing nothing wrong, it's just a case of you needing to get used to it.

@swingofthings yeah that sounds pretty accurate I think. No intention of acting on it. He can fuck that one up all by himself if he chooses to. Not going to help 😂