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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Depressed partner splits up with me everytime he feels down

5 replies

iawatf · 24/05/2018 14:27

We have been together since 2003, I thought everything was great, happy relationship, no major problems at all and then suddenly in january this year he tells me he is depressed (was put on medication and is seeing a councellor once a week) he then tells me he no longer wants to be with me, tunred from loving and affectionate to cold, distant and unfeeling in the blick of an eye. I left for a month to let him clear his head.

We eneded up getting back together, then a few weeks went by and he did it again, we still spoke over the phone every night/whatsapp and I was under the impression we were working things out, I came back for the third time two weeks ago and today he has done it again saying he wants me out of his life, I told him he throws me away everytime he feels down, he replied that he does, and that he is having a meltdown and wants to be alone. He has once again told me to leave.

At first I wanted to fight for us, because I know depression is a mental illness, I knew he wasn't himself, that it wasn't him talking but now I know that I have to walk away and leave him to it. I told him today that he is using his depression as an excuse to get me to leave, he replied that he knows he is. I asked him how it would help if we were no longer together, he said he just wants to be single and that I have done nothing wrong.

I just wanted to ask because I have never had experience with someone who is depressed before, is what he is doing a usual thing? as in, wanting to be alone? throwing away a long term relationship? two days ago he told me he loved me and we had sex, today he wakes up and wants me gone. I asked why we got back together in the fisrt place he replied because I wanted to, he is just throwing everything in my face like it is my fault he is depressed.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 24/05/2018 14:31

If his behaviour isn't going to change, yours will have to. That's no way to live. Flowers

LeChatDeNuit · 24/05/2018 14:49

I agree that’s no way to live. You have no security and he’s walking all over you. Yes, it’s not unusual to want to be alone when you’re depressed but blowing hot and cold and ending a relationship multiple times is just cruel.

kissthealderman · 24/05/2018 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmazingPostVoices · 24/05/2018 14:58

For the sake of your own mental health I think you need to end this relationship.

Flowers
Adora10 · 24/05/2018 16:39

Stay away OP, leave him to it; depression or not, he's obviously able to function enough to have his own place and work; his reasons for ending it could actually be that he just does not want to continue.

Either way, he cannot argue that he is treating you appalling and anyone with an ounce of sense would realise that; you need to stay away from him for your own well being.

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