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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel I’m in a bad place with gf

4 replies

Gman74 · 24/05/2018 06:14

Hi everyone, sorry it’s a long post. I have borderline personality disorder and anxiety and so does my girlfriend. We met March 2017. Everything was great. She felt like the one. She quickly moved in June 2017 and because pregnant. She left her private rented flat and moved 100 miles to be with me. She had a promiscuous lifestyle and she said I helped get her away from that. Just after moving in she told me to get rid of females off my fb and females I’d chat to for advise etc no flirting cos im Not that type. I have respect. Anyway I did it and she kept several guys on her fb inc one she slept with. She has no family they don’t seem to like her. After a while she told me most of my family are nasty and told me to stop talking to them. Again I did it. Because we can’t work with our anxiety and other issues we made a joint claim. It goes in her bank and I have to ask for my share. She has no interest paying bills etc. She prefers to spend it all on clothes and other stuff. While I’m struggling to pay the bills with my share. I have to get my clothes off eBay I can’t afford new ones anymore. During the pregnancy she kept talking to this guy she’s known and he’s very jealous of me. He keeps telling her he has a bad feeling about me and even said he had a message from god telling him so! He and her had performed sex acts over Skype before she met me but she expected me to be happy with her talking to him everyday but I’m not allowed to talk to my best friend who was female ever. During the pregnancy she became very nasty and made regular threats to me and said she hates me etc. She was telling people lies saying I’m controlling her. Not true. After an argument I stayed out in my car for hours to let it calm down. She said come back and I did. As soon as I got home she started again and said I need punishment and hit me. I grabbed her by the arms and pushed her out the bedroom. In the process she had a bruise where I had tried to lift her off the bed. I couldn’t take anymore. Then she said she was leaving so I asked for the iPhone she has that’s in my name on contract. She refused and said she’s gonna get me a massive bill. So I had it barred. She called the police and said I am controlling her again. She returned the next day and things seemed better. Until after the baby was born. I was doing a lot of the night feeds. She slept loads which I know was important after birth. She wanted me to drive 100 miles one morning when I had not slept at all. I refused and she got aggressive to me and said she hates me and slapped me round the face. Again I marched her to the front door and told her to get away from me. she called the police again and I was arrested but let go. Now every time she don’t get her way she threatens to call the police on me. I have had to do voice recording of her and now she is asking to go on my council tenancy. She says she will kick me out if I annoy her. So I refused to add her. Now she is saying she will cheat to make me chuck her out so she can go to the council and get a house. Someone told me this is abuse and I should end it. I already have ptsd from my childhood and she belittles me and says the most evil things about my looks etc I’m at breaking point. I feel I’m only with her because I’ll loose my son and I love him with all my heart.
Sorry it’s so long thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Gman74 · 24/05/2018 06:15

Any advise I’d be grateful.

OP posts:
SD1978 · 24/05/2018 06:19

I’m not sure there is much advice anyone can give you. From your post you sound as if you’re potentially in a DV relatiOnship, with MH issues, in a relationship with a woman who also has MH issues. It sounds toxic. Your choices are either walk away, to try and access MH services for you both, or do what she wants. Is there any SS involvement? Is your child safe where they are?

Gman74 · 24/05/2018 09:48

Yes there is Ss involved because of her past with her other kids that live elsewhere.
I told the Sw about her and my gf said I’m lying and not taking my medication. Lies. She’s playing a game with me. She sent her male friend a topless pic of her to upset me then read his comments out. If I even dare talk to a female I’m in trouble. She says she staying her so she can get my tenancy off me as she has rights etc. She is clever at turning it all round on me and playing the victim when in fact I’m good to her. I cook clean look after baby 3/4 of the day while she sleeps when she wants. She threatened to tell the police I raped her if I ask her to move out I’m stuck with her

OP posts:
Gman74 · 24/05/2018 09:51

I actually have a voice recording of her saying to me she wants me to end it with her so council rehome her or she said she will say I’m doing Dv on her she said on the recording.. I’ll either cheat or say dv it’s ur choice , which one... this isn’t normal behaviour

OP posts:
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