Been with my partner 8 months and its been great. Both very much in love and now living together. We made promises we wouldn't move in unless we were 100% committed with no hangovers.
It may not seem nothing, and hear me out, we were sitting beside each other in the week, and my partner shows me someone on their Instagram, we were searching various people, I noticed their ex was in their suggested people (the one you see when you go into the search tab).
Initially I thought nothing, then I was told this only appears when you search for the same profile on various occasions. It wasn’t there the week before (I am beady eyed). I was so upset that night, not because their ex was searched (we all do it), but since the ex’s account is locked it appeared a bit obsessive (what exactly are you looking at).
It affected me quite a bit that night and I couldn’t sleep trying to rationalise why in our loving relationship you would be so curious to check a “private” profile a number of times over a shirt period. It only leads me to believe they have been searching via Facebook and other platforms. Again this can all be explained and rationalised and believe me I tried to shrug it off.
I plucked u the courage to discuss this with my partner (I felt I was being unreasonable but couldn’t shake how I was feeling). I literally said I was upset and need to understand this behaviour, that I understand the odd peep but numerious times in the last week (possibly this has been going on longer who knows). I just wanted my partner to explain if it was just curiosity or otherwise. You have to understand i was upset with the nature of the viewing not that the profile was viewed, it seemed obsessive.
My partners reaction was a bit defensive and they volunteered to say they haven’t searched for said ex in a YEAR! I’m a bit tec savvy and know this is impossible based on the IG algorithm, so I know its a lie. I wasn’t confrontational and pleaded for truth, even if they said they still had feelings we could work through it and understand. So i guess its what I feel is the lying that hurts.
i feel devastated but assured my partner this is forgotten about. I have even pleaded with myself to let this go, that they were obviously embarrassed with this and they wont do anything which could upset me. I had asked them how they would feel in my position and they said they would equally be upset so i am not wanted to be treated different.
What i have decided to do is let it slip. but if i notice this behaviour again its out no questions asked. i will give them the benefit of the doubt. Am i being harsh?