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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

so confused!

7 replies

topystervy · 23/05/2018 12:55

A few months back my Mother in law came to my house, which i admit was a bit untidy as i have 4 children and it was a weekend. a few days later she called my partner and said that my house is a mess, shes been round a few times and it has been like that. now my partner called me and said his mum said the house was disgusting! i was furious and so send her a message saying that she dose not help when she comes over she leaves her belongings everywhere, front room kitchen and bathroom. i also said her son was a man child as he also does not clean up after himself and hes like having another child. i said if any one else has a problem send them the message as well.i also said she was not welcome in my home.
fast forward 3/4 months we still haven't spoken and my partner feels like we should have a 'chat' she came over to our house and she saw me an said erg when she realised i was in the room and i said u alright she said yeah im good. frosty! then when the time came for 'the chat' she approached me with hands on his saying how she wasn't happy with the message i sent her. i replied well i wasnt happy with what you said behind my back. she said well should be able to say what ever i want to my son. and i said well he can also say whatever he wants to me. and she said well i didn't think he was stupid enough to tell u. she was mad basically as i think she came expecting an apology which she did not receive. i also forgot to add that she sent the message to his whole family and sent it to me by mistake when she was supposed to send to her other son the night he was due to stay at our house. obviously trying to stir up something.
I just want to know who's in the wrong. me or her? where do i go from here!??

OP posts:
ellaV · 23/05/2018 13:09

She's in the wrong! I think you AND your husband should tell her that she's very welcome to visit your home as long as she keeps her vicious opinions to herself.
If she doesn't like how you keep YOUR home, then it's no skin off your nose if she doesn't visit.
What a cow!

topystervy · 23/05/2018 13:57

EllaV
Thanks for replying Smile. I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. 'The chat' did go well as she stormed out the house lol. So should I call/message her to try an resolve this or leave it?

OP posts:
topystervy · 23/05/2018 13:57
  • didn't go well.
OP posts:
Aprilmightbemynewname · 23/05/2018 13:59

Once my exmil told me our house was messy, after having dc number 7,I told her she knew where the front door was. ..
The woman who stood by (and exh) while I made a roast dinner the same day I got home from hospital pp.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/05/2018 14:21

Hell no - don't message her.
You had 'the chat'
She didn't like the way it went.
Tough shit.
You tried but it didn't work out.
Leave it to your DH to deal with her now.
You have no reason to.

And tell your DH to start cleaning up after himself.
He is an adult and needs to do his fair share!

Thingsdogetbetter · 23/05/2018 18:53

My reaction to first comment: "I understand you think my home is messy. As you're the expert, I'd really like you to show me how to keep it tip top tidy while looking after 4 kids and your useless son. I'll expect you here this weekend. I'm off with the girls and looking forward to seeing the perfect show home on Monday when I get back!" (While smiling, hiding extremely sugary snacks for kids to eat all weekend to get nice and hyper, and ensuring glitter, poster paints and sticky spillable glue is within kids easy reach!).
Or
Not give a crap what the judgemental cow thinks and get one with my life.
First one sounds like more fun though! Lol

topystervy · 23/05/2018 21:52

Thank you all for replying. I feel a bit better about the whole thing now xxWink

OP posts:
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