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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is this worth walking away?

28 replies

Willitend12 · 23/05/2018 07:42

Been with partner for 3 years, live apart.

Last night had a very nice date night after lots of ups and downs recently but I had to leave at 9pm.
I said that I hoped we could continue to message the rest if the evening and he said "I don't want to do that!" In quite a nasty way...
I asked why not? Why would he not want to continue to chat as he had no distractions and was just sitting at home on his own..

He shouted "because its boring! There's nothing to say to you"
I walked out at that point. When I got home he had sent a message saying he didn't mean the word "boring but he was clearly backtracking by then.

I was really hurt and offended by this... am i over reacting or is this yet ANOTHER sign that he is just not that in to me anymore?

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 23/05/2018 11:06

'WANTS' to be with you all the time.
Not necessary that they ARE with you all the time.
Blimey I can't stand it if I see a guy more than twice a week.
I like my space.
I didn't mean it in the literal sense.

PebbleTissueScissors · 23/05/2018 16:24

but I had to leave at 9pm.
I said that I hoped we could continue to message the rest if the evening

I think this is a personality compatibility issue.

To be really frank when I read your post I thought "FFS are you 12 years old? Grow up!" but I am extremely busy and do not have the time or to muck about messaging adults about trivialities because I actually have a life.

It would annoy me no end to have a partner who expected this and I would judge them as needy and irritating if this was suggested, expected or a way that they behaved.

But that's just me and just my own extreme reaction because I can't stand that kind of clinginess.

It's equally fine to want that level of contact and someone else might look at my reaction and judge me as cold and unreasonable!

There is no right or wrong - it's just what suits you. Sounds like you and him are not compatible in this way.

Cricrichan · 23/05/2018 19:42

I don't think his response is necessarily that bad. After a while, texting does get tedious. Much better to phone but if you've spent the evening together it's not necessary!

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