Would you go to the wedding?

[FVFrog]

I am in a complete quandary. My DH told me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to separate about 4 weeks ago. We have been together for 30 years, married for 24, 3 older teenage DCs.
His nephew, who I have known since the age of 2 and been a part of his life as a close knit (annual holidays together etc) extended family is getting married later this summer. No one in the family knows about the separation (or will have any idea) at the moment. By the time of the wedding my ‘D’H will have moved out into a flat and our children and the family will know.
Do I attend the wedding? I am tempted to confide in my sister in law and ask for her opinion as mother of the groom. Would it be more tactful to stay away? I don’t actually think I want to be there!
At the moment I am a little in shock and disbelief about the separation and the last thing I want to do is take any focus off the bride and groom on their day, but would it be worse to go or stay away? We are (or were ) a large and close knit extended family.

If it would make you happy going then I would go

I think they'll do the decent thing and say you're welcome to attend.

But I also think it will be an upsetting experience for you and I think your gut feeling to give it a miss is the right one. Everybody will understand. Tbh they will probably be relieved to avoid any awkwardness. You can meet up with the bride and groom before/after to wish them well or send a heartfelt card.

I think it would be polite to give them a heads up as soon as you feel able to, but you're under no obligation to do so. If you prefer, contact them once the news is public and you feel less raw.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this btw, very hard.

If it's a church wedding I think I would quietly go along to see them get married as after all, that's the important part.

But then I'd decline to attend the reception. I think I'd find it upsetting being reminded that going forward I would no longer be part of that family IYSWIM?