I have name changed, i am too nervous about posting under my usual name in case anyone recognises me.
I have always been an anxious person, i grew up overseas in a very conservative family, i never fit in with people in school and was bullied alot. I was always the kid that was last to be picked for group games. I went to prom alone, sat alone, spent some recesses sat outsite the teachers room, reading.
I dont have many friends back home - maybe one or two i speak to sometimes, they have their family and i speak tothem when i go back home, other than that, not much contact. Because i moved here (to London) i had to start all over again with thhe whole friends thing and it isnt easy. My daughter goes to school and ive tried to get to know 1 or two mums, but they are all stay at home mums and i work, so cathing up for coffee/yoga/what have yous is hard. I do try though - i set up playdates, i try to do the school run once a week, i make an effort to speak to the mums there - but they are all so established in their friendship circles already.
Recently i met a lovely lady at a party (a while back) she was so lovely to me and our kids got on well, she was so keen to meet up after and she asked that we keep in touch - i thought great! We texted for a few days, just niceties etc, and then suddenly she just stopped. No idea why - i feel quite sad about it, even though i only spoke to her for a while, she seemed so keen and so lovely when she texted me. And while its so hard for me to actually believe she really wanted to keep in touch, i suppose she changed her mind. I feel im back in school. Even now, i can see my phone and i wonder - has she texted me back? Its horrible - i know.
I need to see someone for my anxiety and that will happen. Dont know what i wanted from this post - maybe just to write it all down. Thanks for listening.