Not speaking to DH and can’t see the point.

[Flosayshellohello]

My husband and I haven’t spoken to each other in two days. Not normal for us. But I just don’t feel like I want to talk to him. I feel like it will open a big can of worms where I tell him I’m sick of how grumpy and miserable he is and then he blames all the normal aspects of family life. I feel like he doesn’t appreciate the good things, he’s very negative. I’m very positive and it’s really such a mood sucker.
I feel like I can’t talk to him because he accuses me of not being supportive and shouts me down. He has a history of depression but he never does anything constructive to help manage it, and it comes and goes so quickly I feel like it’s his go to excuse for being grumpy.
We recently went on holiday and he was so grumpy I felt on edge trying to pacify him the whole time.
To be honest I just feel indifferent at the moment. 🙁

Sounds like you need some time apart to re-evaluate the whole relationship. And you're right - depression might be a factor but it's not an excuse. It can be treated and managed.

Not talking and tip-toeing around isn't healthy, but you obviously know that. What do YOU want to do next?

Why are you together at all now, what is in this relationship for you still.

Do you have children?. What do you want to teach them about relationships, surely not this role model of one.

What is this man like around other people?. Does he work?.

Sulking behaviour is really another form of emotional abuse. How much of this is really due to depression (for which he has done nothing) compared with how much of this is him being a controlling and thus abusive arse?.

Sounds like you've spent a lot of time tying yourself in knots to try and keep a mean-spirited twat happy and you've simply run out of steam.

Good. People waste years in relationships like this. If you've reached your limit, I'm pleased for you.

Do you have children? That will undoubtedly influence what you do next, but please keep the mindset you have. Yes, it's exhausting being with a person like this. And you don't have to do it.

Have a good think about what you want to do next, and what you want long term.

He sounds draining. How long have you been together? As Fizzy said, you don't HAVE to live like this.

If he isn't take his 'depression' seriously, I suggest you don't either. Depression doesn't tend to 'come and go quickly' - for many people it is a lifelong battle. It really does sound like his go-to excuse for bad behaviour (and I'm not saying that with any disrespect to people who genuinely do suffer from it).

Can I ask what triggered this bout of not talking, did you have a row?

It sounds like your life revolves around him, him, him. What do you get out of this relationship?

I've got one like this. Used to tie myself in knots trying to understand and always thinking it was something I had done and blaming myself. Soon realised that it is passive aggressive, manipulating and childish. Frankly, when he is like this now I just ignore him and carry on as normal. I enjoy the quiet, watch TV in bed, read, eat whatever I fancy and go out when I like. In fact, I couldnt give a flying fuck - they soon get fed up and come round. Could have kicked him out or left him but didnt and now 20 odd years down the line I am immune to it -
he gets over his sulkand all is well until the next time and there always is a next time, but as I say, I am immune now . Just ignore the moody git - let him stew in his own juice.

Mine is exactly the same, seems to be sulking at the moment because I'm poorly with sinusitis and conjunctivitis and not paying him the attention he needs...hugs and flowers for you op, no advice really as I'm in a similar situation xx

@titsmcgee22 did i read that correct? Your OH is upset that you haven't been showing him enough love and affection while you struggle feeling under the weather with conjunctivitis and sinusitis? Dear god. What is wrong with some of these men? Flipping heck. I feel so angry on your behalf. Just how dare he. I do hope you recover soon and deal with his behaviour when you're feeling better.

OP how long are you prepared to put up with this from your husband? He may be depressed but he doesn't get help for it and uses it as an excuse to behave like cunt. I bet he doesn't behave like this with other people. He has no respect for you.

How are you doing OP? Did you manage to get through to your husband?

@titsmcgee22... hope you're feeling better and recovered from the double whammy of sinusitis and conjunctivitis. I've had conjunctivitis and it's awful.