Having an ‘emotional affair’ when single...

[littlepill]

I don’t know how to describe this, but it’s like an EA but both divorced. He is an old friend who has come back into my life on hearing about divorce. He also worked with ex - same age/level/position so is known in our circles.

We have texted into the early hours for over a week now and we always knew there was a deep connection & emotional bond.

Meeting later but I am fearful. What if I don’t like him as much physically? It has escalated so far (not sexual though, over texts - only subtly so). We have shared so much and could still be very good friends.

I suppose I need to put this somewhere. Trying to suggest meetings which are not back at his house (I think my clothes might fall off ) but it is taking strength to hold it together and keep the boundary.

Does this make sense to anyone? Has anyone else been in this position?

Maybe you're overthinking this! Just meet somewhere nice for a coffee or a cosy pub for a drink and see where it goes!

The only things that don’t make sense are

1. that you are thinking this is an emotional affair
2. that you are wondering if someone else has gone through similar
3. and that you think the above when you are divorced.

I would assume that if you had a relationship in the past all of the above would seem... normal?

It's not EA you are both single and you are overthinking this way too much.

Im guessing its guilt given the fact he is in the same circle as your ex?

Take it easy. You may find yourself completely underwhelmed by him in the flesh. It's easy to mistake easy camaraderie through texting for sexual chemistry.

On the other hand...relax and have fun.

Not really an affair though is it? You're both single.

It sounds like the beginnings of a new relationship, hope your first date goes well.

If you're both single it can't be an affair! Sounds like the normal early stages of possible relationship. Good luck!

Stop over thinking things ! As of right now, you are meeting up as friends! If there ends up being a spark, great, if not, youve got a new friend!

Thanks everyone! This is helpful.
As I said - is "like" an EA, as in that there has been a lot of information shared and we text on commentary. I expect this will wear off at some stage...

Yes, I guess it is that: normal stages of possible relationship. Eek.

Yes, PuttinG it is guilt as he was ex's colleague.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant I said it was like an emotional affair. As in, the past few week or so - it has felt like we have bonded and have shared a lot of info.

Why should it be weird that I am asking if someone else has gone through similar?

I have ASD and maybe see things a bit differently. We are both divorced and I have had many relationships, but never one with anyone from work, or who worked with my ex. It is quite a small circle so would cause gossip, etc.

Ok. Will try not to overthink! Thank you all, for help!

There's no rush. Just keep spending time with each other. Any new potential romance has some "what ifs", it's completely normal.

InkSnail, thank you. Will remember to not rush. I am very fearful of relationships which doesn’t help!

Take it slow and enjoy it op.