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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Heartbroken

5 replies

sugarandspice1990 · 21/05/2018 22:57

Hi all,

I'm not necessarily begging for advice but I needed somewhere to rant I guess or somewhere for people to offer me their thoughts.

To cut a long story short, I am in my early twenties, a single mother and divorcing my ex husband who was violent. I've dealt with an injunction against him and dealt with the backlash of harassment from his family all at the age of 23.

I confided in a close friend of mine, who I ended up dating. Months and nearly a year flew by and I fell in love. Everything was great, then I found out that he has a secret girlfriend of two years. When confronted he spent days begging me to stay his friend, he said he doesn't love her and that he wants us to stay in touch.

When he confesses all to the other girl she messages me online, she tells me she's heartbroken and that he told her he has feelings for me still and wants to stay friends with me. I can't get my head around his betrayal to both of us, he knows of my situation and this is hard enough to take in.

Less than 24 hours later he tells me they have spoken and decided to give things a go. On the condition that he has no contact with me. He's blocked me on everything and is carrying on his perfect little life whilst I deal with the backlash. I was there when his dad was dying, he even told me I was there for him when nobody else was and he will never forget it. I can't get my head around why he's done this. I went through enough with my ex husband and now I'm dealing with this too, I can't express my heartache and confusion at the situation. I guess I just need someone to talk to.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 21/05/2018 23:53

I'm sorry he deceived you like that...but He's not a good guy. He's a liar and a cheat.

I think you being no contact is best all round. I hope his GF knows that he deceived you.

You've been through a lot...but you'll be fine.

Don't lose your faith in men because of these 2.

SandyY2K · 21/05/2018 23:56

he even told me I was there for him when nobody else was

Clearly a lie considering he had a GF.

AdaColeman · 22/05/2018 00:02

He's a player, be glad that you have dodged the bullet and had a lucky escape.

No contact will be good for you, take the time to care for yourself and learn about yourself. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, live it to the best of your ability.

Lot of luck to you! Thanks

Singlenotsingle · 22/05/2018 00:07

Best for everyone inçluding you, that you stay NC. Youve probably got the better end of the deal.You're learning the hard way, at a very young age, that men can be shits. So sad for you.

Original poster
sugarandspice1990 · 22/05/2018 00:23

Thanks all,

She's aware of what he's done and the full story but she's taken him back. His dad was dying and I did everything to be there for him including financially trying to help the family out.

And now he's completely gone, he spent the day before disappearing telling me how he still cares and his feelings won't go to just disappearing into the sunset to work on things with his girlfriend. Two years they were together and 1 year of that he was with me. I would struggle to come back from that if I was her.

OP posts:
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