Has anyone been to a couples counsellor because of low sex drive?

[PregnantGrrrl]

Has anyone been to a counsellor because one (or both) of you had sex drive 'issues'?

What was the result?

been this way for years now, and with little change. So, was wondering if anyone had taken a more proactive approach, and what happened.

Sorry, no. I've had NHS sex therapy for other problems and the counsellor was absolutely excellent. It was quite intense stuff and the central problem I went for has not actually changed, but I would say that things are definitely better and I'm much more relaxed about it. It was supposed to be as a couple but the therapist would see me on my own in the end.

The wait was long but if it's been that way for years anyway, why not get put on the waiting list?

Once the NHS sessions were finished we also looked at Relate sex therapy. The problem with both was that we couldn't find an appointment we could both get to.

I'd recommend it though.

Choosyfloosy- can i ask what area you're in?

I didn't know you could get an NHS referral for sex therapy.

Oxford.

Admittedly there may be more people with sexual problems in Oxford than elsewhere

it depends what your local PCT is funding. D'you know what? If you don't ask, you don't get! Bear in mind they threatened me with a year long waiting list. It wasn't that long but it was months.

Relate do do a good programme of sex therapy as well. I'm embarrassed to say that I turned up to the first appointment with ds - it never occurred to me that this might be inappropriate (he was about 18 months old). Couldn't get/afford childcare. Once they pointed out that this wasn't going to happen, we had to drop out.

what sort of format does the relate stuff take?

I've been to counselling alone in the past, and DP came to one with me once, but she was awful and i think she scared him off.

Do you get 'homework', so to speak?

Not sure re relate as we never got going.

Yes you get homework. It was really hard. Strange as it was stuff like 'have a really relaxing bath...'

What was awful about her?

she'd met me once before, but not met DP. We went together, and she waded straight in saying our problem was him. No tact, and i felt she picking on him TBH.

how infuriating. was she NHS?

don't they realise it can be like herding cats actually getting both people there?

not NHS no, remarkably. we didn't go back to her, unsurprisingly!