DW on HRT hard to live with

[HarmlessChap]

When she was menstruating naturally I knew to keep my head down for a couple of days a month and avoid saying or doing anything which could escalate.

With HRT that phase seems to be worse and last longer. I'm sick of the sniping, snapping and her doing things which she knows wind me up. I think the kids are fed up too as they've started backing me up when she swears blind that I didn't say this or said that.

Tonight has been particularly bad, she went to bed hours ago and I'm putting off going. I might sleep on the sofa, I just don't feel like sharing a bed with her at the moment.

It can't be good for her to feel so irritated but in a few days she'll have calmed down again and there will be total denial; I'll be told I imagined it and she will refuse point blank to speak to the GP. The kids won't want to get involved then as "normal mum" will be back. Its been like this for over 6 months now.

She would regard any recording as massively overstepping the mark even if it were to prove to her that she's acted badly.

From Friday she's got a long weekend away doing something she finds very rewarding so I think she will be better for that. She'll be exhausted when she gets back on Monday evening but dinner will be ready so she can just eat, catch up on her TV and turn in early.

I agree that recording is a bit much.

You don't sound awful at all. You sound extremely normal, it's very difficult living on edge with someone who takes out emotion on you, no matter how much empathy you have.

I'm honestly terrified that this will be me. I don't do well with PMS as it is.

Are you sure she's on HRT? Swings like that seem to suggest she may not be...........

DD is mid GCSEs, so quite stressed already. The way DW spoke to her last night was just awful, I mentioned it was unfair, she was unrepentant saying "she shouldn't keep on annoying me". I hope you pulled up this shit, SHE the adult and your DD is doing her GCSE YOUR WIFE need's to be supporting her not having a go at her.

I would be telling her she either go to the doctor and tell them how HRT is affecting her and her family or she finds some where else to live until at least DD gcse's are over so she doesn't have to deal with a bitch of mother at the same time.

FWIW I can not take HRT or the pill for that matter and is starting going through menopause and we also have a 14 yr old who is just starting and a 10yr who seems to be either very hormonal or starting hers early (like my sister). It fun in our house at the moment but none of us a being mean and bitchy to my poor DH and DS. We take ourselves away until we a feeling more balanced.

A friend of mine is starting the menopause and recently reccomended this to listen to for everybody to educate themselves about it : www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05tpw79

Are you sure she's on HRT? Swings like that seem to suggest she may not be...........

I don't doubt that she is, I know she has been prescribed it, she was not having regular periods before but now she has "a bleed"as she calls it every month.

I'm putting this down to the HRT, because of when it started and how it is similar to how she was with pmt but I suppose that it could be unrelated.

Communication has never been ideal in our relationship, that's every bit my fault as well, but its particularly awkward while she's like this. Anyway based on past experience she should be coming out of the other side imminently, so fingers crossed.

As for DD, she and DW have clashed for a few years, they are both immensely stubborn. DD ignored some cues that her DM was becoming impatient but kept on, DW shouldn't have reacted as she did but DD knows how to push her buttons.

chap I think it's highly likely to be the progesterone element of the HRT causing this. A close friend had a similar reaction when she started HRT last year. It was awful for her. PMTx1000. She lashed out at everyone - family, friends, work colleagues - no-one was spared!
Is this happening immediately in the run up to the bleed?

In my friends case, she fortunately recognised after a few months that it was a pattern, and went back to the GP. They confirmed it was the progesterone, and changed her HRT.
She is much, much happier now!

It is all a bit of trial and error, getting the HRT right, and her GP should have told her that. She should have had a review at 3 months, but she should also go back whenever she feels it's not working.
It is astonishing just how much of an impact just a small variation in hormone levels can have - as you are all witnessing!

I am also on HRT and initially saw a private GP who specialises menopause for the first year, as they were able to spend an hour on the initial consultation, and then half hour appointments to talk through progress and change the prescription until it was right.