Should I confront ?

[Dottylives]

I think I know what has happened. It makes sense in my head but it is all consuming me and I don't know whether to confront friend.

Short version is that husband left last year. We had been through marriage counselling but he had checked out already.
Instead of dealing with any problems we had - he decided to project all the issues onto me, blame me and then decided to leave me and our DD

During the crappy times I was given evidence of him taking another woman home to our house.
The OW looks like one of my friends.
Since he left, I don't hear from her.
When I confronted him about it, he said it was someone from work.
There are too many things that point to it being her.

I don't know whether to confront her. I don't seem to have a friendship with her anymore.... wondering if I would get / find closure. I hate myself and feel awful for thinking it might be her but gut instinct and too many things point in that direction.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on closure?

OP - I am sorry for what happened.
Best closure you can get is by getting counselling and moving on.

You’ll gain nothing from confronting her. If it were her or not - it won’t change the situation.
Your H checked out of the relationship. HE left.

Focus on yourself and your child. It’ll take time, but you’ll get through this.

Yes. Ask her. I had a gut instinct for a very long time about some tart my dp was friends with. Turns out she invited him round for dinner while he was working away, gave him a bj, and they were meeting up for sex every week from then on. He projected and blamed me, but really, how can you blame someone else for you making the calculated decision to sleep with someone else, repeatedly? Bullshit. Noone would ever think dp to be the type who'd do that, either.
He lied about it until I finally snapped, asked the tart what had happened. She gave a version which cast her in the best light, minus a LOT of details, but it was enough to confront him with, amd he finally came clean.
So if you really want to know, you've got nothing to lose. I wouldn't 'confront' so much as appeal to her better nature. If she's got one, which I'm kind of doubting about someone who knowingly encourages and sleeps with someone already in a relationship. Good luck. It's shit, isn't it?

I have thought about going back to counselling. I think I will. I think a session talking through it will help. I just can't imagine a time when it doesn't feature in most of my thoughts.

OP - it’ll take more than one session.
And, of course, eventually you’ll be able to move on. You can’t let your H’s affair define your life. It’d be too sad - if it did.