I wanted some harsh, unchecked opinions and thought this was the right place to get those.
I have a male friend, who I had a brief relationship with a few years ago. He didn't behave too well at the time and I ended it. He never seemed to be happy about me ending it (was always chasing, trying to get me to go out with him again) but he didn't actually seem to want a relationship with me, I think he just wanted sex, so I rejected his offers.
He persisted for a long time with the chase and we went out to dinner again a few times and I let him know if he wanted a relationship with me it had to be above board. Proper dating, no casual sex or in betweens and he basically wasn't up for that. As to why he didn't want a relationship with me, I don't know. He said he was very attracted to me physically and he said he loved being with me and thought I was great. He just didn't see us as right for each other. For whatever reason, I was not girlfriend material.
So I said if that was how he felt, I didn't want to continue dating at all. Over the course of a couple of years though, at his instigation, we ended up becoming friends. He was an awful boyfriend, but he was a great friend and I really enjoyed the friendship and he put a lot into it. The only spanner in the works was that he consistently tried to make a move on me sexually or trying to have physical contact which was beyond friends, which I had to keep telling him was off the table. We did spend a lot of time together though and spoke for a long time every day and I'd say we were probably closer to each other than to anyone.
Fast forward a little and he met someone he did see as girlfriend potential and started seeing her. I was hurt that he'd decided so quickly she was girlfriend potential, but I wanted him to be happy even if not with me and that was that.
After a few weeks seeing her though, she let him know that she wasn't happy with our friendship and she asked him to stop seeing me. She started to also say unkind things about me and because we tell each other everything he decided to pass this information on to me which really hurt me.
I ended our friendship because I felt that he had dropped me for someone he'd know for a few weeks and had created circumstances where we were pitted against each other instead of laying groundwork for us to both be part of his life. He denied this and said I was reacting too strongly and that she was threatened by me.
I am sitting there today really wondering if we were ever really friends. Do you think we were, or was he just using me the whole time? I feel a little bit down about it all and I don't think it's just rejection but also feeling like my best friend betrayed my trust and didn't respect me.