I’ve recently split with my partner (we was on and off for years) due to his drinking and drug problems and the lack of trust and often emotional abuse that came with this.
I’m just really struggling at the moment. It’s been 1 week of nc and it has been awful. I’m only in my early 20’s as is he but I feel like I have left myself with no one.
I don’t really have any family I can rely on. My mother moved away and my father is an addict and has various mental health problems. I feel as though I’m comparison to a lot of people my age I have just been left to it. I also have a 6 month old baby whom I look after 24/7 (her father left when I was 5 months pregnant).
It’s so hard because I was so happy with my partner when things were good and he was really the first person I have been so attracted too and genuinly loved but there was also a lot of times where he has severely broken my trust and will continue to put his drinking addiction before our relationship.
I just feel like I’m at a loss. I became unhappy with him although I still very much love him, but I am also unhappy without him. I can’t go out much as I have the baby 24/7, I don’t have a lot of friends in the area and I have next to no family. Along with this I’m stressing about what I’m going to do once my maternity leave finishes. I have no childcare so I cannot go back to work, and if I was to go to uni which is another option I have been looking at, I will have to look for a flat over the other side of the country as this is the uni I was accepted too (i would only go to this one as it’s one of the best in the county). I need to do something as I get far too bored and with everything going on I need a routine to get out of this rut.
I expected to feel grief after we broke up but I feel so low, to the point where I’m considering whether I would be happier staying with him. At least that way I have some happy times, where as now I feel down pretty much all the time.
Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. 💐💐