Birthdays

[Pixikitten0123]

Am I being out of order expecting my stbxh to make sure the kids had a birthday card to give me from them for my birthday? I’m obviously not expecting one from him but I feel as though it’s rotten for the kids having nothing to give their mum on her birthday.

How old are the kids? Do you get on with your ex? There's no way my ex would buy a card for my kids to have given me but as they're older now and one has his own money that's irrelevant now.
If you have a good relationship with ex and the kids are young then yes maybe he should have got a card for them to give you!

Depending on the ages of the children, they will know it’s your birthday and can make one for you themselves. My 5 year old often makes us birthday cards fairly unprompted. Obviously it would be the kind thing to do to help them get you something though and most people who aren’t jerks would do that.

Yes, he's a shit. Have you any family who might take your kids to get a card & present for you or help them make one? I think it's important that they learn to do that for the people they love.

The kids are 9 and 10, have tried to be ok with him. He walked out on us Mother’s Day weekend so I also received nothing then either, maybe I kinda hoped that after that he’d make sure that the kids had something as they were embarrassed

My exh did used to go and get a card and presents with the boys, i put a stop to it as he always showed the boys what he thought i liked, even the 9 year old knew my fave chocs were lindor and not the expensive crap he used to insist on getting me, just goes to show you that even after 15 years he never knew me! I take the boys into the supermarket and they each get to pick me something they think i would like then my eldest gets given the money to pay for it. Last year i got lindor chocs from the 9 year old, reduced to clear chocs from the 4 year old and some maom chews from the 2 year old, and the latest disney dvd, best presents ever! I sort myself out and its upto my ex to do the same for himself.

If they are 9&10 I'd take them to Asda give them a fiver and let them go and choose you a card and some chocs without you seeing! Set a precedent now, show him that you don't need anything from him! Return the favour for his and do nothing!!!

My ds always makes cards for me and I buy something for him to wrap and give me on my birthday, Christmas, mother's Day. I buy it months before so buy the time I get it I have forgotten about it and it is a lovely surprise.

It means ds is always giving me something I really want 😊

One child is disabled. Thanks for your responses and as it’s his birthday next week I’ll be certain to return the same gratitude 😂

I think it's important that the children are encouraged to remember both parents birthdays and mother's /father's days

My children are 11 and 5. I take them to a shop and let them pick something and pay. They keep it until my birthday/ Mother's Day etc. I want nothing from my ex and do not need his false sentiment.
I do support the children to buy cards and small gifts for him as I wouldn't want them to feel bad about having nothing. Although it really is a token item.