DP Trip post baby

[Spanglyprincess1]

My partner is slef employed as is his dad in similar jobs. I'm due first week of July with my first and nervous. My partner normally goes to a show, sorta work, with his dad every year. It's two weeks after my due date - so conceivably I might not have had baby or he will be very young. Before Christmas last year we discussed our calanders and he mentioned the show. I asked him.to say he couldn't go as I was worried about being alone that soon overnight (it's a long way away) with a newborn or overdue. He agreed. But today I asked him and he said he wants to go but would just try and do a day, which would mean he would be gone for 13hours plus.
Aibu for not wanting him to go that soon to baby? Obviously if I'm early or feel capable then we can play it by ear but I dont wnat him booking a stall to work or promising his dad just in case.

How far away is it? If you were overdue how long would it take him to get home if you went into labour?

It's a five hour drive away without traffic.

Does he work with his Dad? If so can his Dad sign up to host the stall and your DH joins only if you’ve had the baby and are home, healthy and you both agree you can manage. But no he should definitely not make any promises to attend.

No he doesn't , similar jobs but seperated companies. I'm mostly annoyed I think as we discussed it when I was only 12weeks and agreed that he shouldn't go just in case but he hasn't communicated this to his dad and appears to have changed his mind.

In that case and presuming he doesn’t have any employees that could go for him then I agree he should give it a miss. If you go overdue/have a c-section (hopefully not but it’s a possibility) you’ll definitely need him at home so it would be silly to pay for a stand when there’s a good chance he won’t be using it.

I think it's very unreasonable to leave you when you need him most. I would have thought his father would have more sense at least! Remind him this time will only come once and he could potentially miss out. Does the show generate a lot of business for his company? Is that why he is keen to attend? If he booked his stall, would he lose money?
I don't think you are being unreasonable whether he loses money or not.

I would not have been happy with this at all... First babies are often late.. mine was nearly two weeks late.... your baby could be a matter of days old! And its very hard in the first weeks, you do need all hands on deck.

Definitely not with my first baby. If the baby is 2 weeks old you'll probably be fine but if you're still pregnant or baby is a few days old then that wouldn't be fair on you at all.

It needs to be on a 'see how it goes but most likely not' basis.

Most babies aren't born on there due dates! You might have a month old easy baby, you might be in labour. He can't 'plan to go'. It's impossible to know!

Their!!!

Thanks that's my stance too. Not sure why the change of heart from him. I will try talking to him again.
He's away end of July for an important business event which can't be avoided for a whole weekend which I have not made a fuss about at all but this one is far to close.

Absolutely no chance! I went 2 weeks over my due date and even at 2 weeks old I would’ve really struggled with my DD without his support. You don’t know what a new baby will bring and I think it’s very selfish of him to be planning on going on this trip - it’s not even as if it’s a once in a lifetime, it’s every flipping year!

Yeah that’s really annoying. How important is it in terms of work: will it generate new business etc and how does this affect your financial situation? If you don’t need the money or whatever it is he’s doing it for then I’d ask him to leave and really expect him to agree unless good reasons not to. I had my first baby 7 months ago and early days are so full on and you’re sort of shellshocked. If you HAD to manage you would but why make it difficult unnecessarily? fwiw my husband had to do court appearance quite far away two weeks after my c section and I was really quite apprehensive about being on my own for over 12 hours with baby but it was actually fine and quite lovely and made me feel more confident. But definitely make and plan for life to be as easy as you can, esp in early days. Good luck!