What to wear for a first date?

[Firsttimeat41]

Hi, NC for this as don't want it linked to my other posts.
I'm 41 and going out on a first date tomorrow for drinks at a really nice restaurant out in the country. We'll be sitting outside as the weather is due to be lovely. Not meeting until 9pm due to childcare commitments on his side.
I'm new to the whole online dating thing and pretty nervous. I've gained half a stone since Christmas due to my thyroid for which I've just started medication but I'm conscious of the extra weight. I'm still a healthy weight but only just! I'm only small, can't walk in heels and after 3 children, several abdominal surgeries and abdominal problems my stomach is far from flat. So my confidence isn't great. He's quite sporty so worry he'll think I'm a fat frump. What can I wear???

Jeans, a nice top and a blazer? Floaty dress?

I don't know really as I don't know what's in your wardrobe! Something comfortable I guess as you don't want to feel self conscious.

Do you have a friend or relative who can come round and help you pick something?

I hope it goes well!

Wear whatever it is that makes you feel gorgeous. Don’t worry about looking sporty or having a flat stomach. This is a first date. I used to worry like you but now I use them to just be myself and then you weed out all the ones that don’t like you the way you are.

It won’t be that warm at 9pm so I’d agree with jeans, nice top and blazer/jacket. Maybe some nice sandals with a pedicure?

If the restaurant allows jeans then smart jeans, nice shoes, pretty top & smart jacket?

I'd also go with nice jeans, cool flat sandals and a tummy disguising top if you're uncomfortable with that area.

Whatever you feel comfortable in, and is appropriate for the level of formality. You said it's a nice restaurant, but it's also going to be outside and just drinks, so I think the previous suggestions sound fine. Although at 9pm even in nice weather it will be nippy! Maybe take a light scarfy type thing just in case..?

If he is sporty, then there's a fair chance he doesn't really care about being "fashion forward" and leans towards valuing "functionality" (which heels are not part of) anyway.

Also, IME of attending amateur sporting events (granted only certain sports), sporty men are not more or less likely to go for the "flat stomach" etc, etc, thing than anyone else. Most of the partners I see are chilling out with a coffee and a cake whilst their partners do their thing. Him liking sport and wanting to stay in shape/keep fit is only likely to extend to wanting to find someone with a vague interest in being outdoors and relatively active, rather than being a fitness model.

Enjoy

Thanks everyone! Luckily I got to suggest the place and it's somewhere I've been before to eat. It's on the fancy side but relaxed and would be fine wearing jeans. However I don't have a nice pair the right length for sandals. I've got some black trousers and a white top, denim jacket and black flat but sparkly sandals that is my first choice but not sure about it. I'll try to attach pictures.

Hope that works. It's casual but on the smarter side. I'll wear the top on the shoulder though as otherwise I'd be constantly adjusting it and I have broad shoulders.

I think the top and sandals are lovely but trousers maybe a little casual, how about some tapered trousers/chino type instead?

It hard to say without seeing them on but, if you’re comfortable & happy, that’s all that matters. Enjoy yourself & good luck

Alternatively I have cropped jeans, a dark navy patterned floaty sleeveless top, fuchsia cardigan and the sandals. Or black sundress, sparkly black cardigan, sandals, and could still wear the denim jacket. Just can't do double denim!! My wardrobe is very limited

I always think I’ve got a huuuuge wardrobe until I actually have to put together an outfit and have absolutely nothing to wear. Any of the outfits you’ve listed sound lovely, the sundress sounds great as you could always accessorise!

I imagine he'll be in jeans and polo shirt type thing. I'm going to be most comfy in my cropped jeans etc. Would wear them unrolled at the bottom to smarten them up.

I agree that sporty men don't necessarily go for sporty women, or worry about how buff they are. So whatever you wear, don't fret about your tum. Enjoy your date!

Then defo wear what you’re most comfortable in as he’ll be able to tell if you’re not feeling comfortable. Enjoy yourself!

Have a lovely date OP

You are the prize remember ;) Have a lovely date. I would say for sure wear something you have worn before and know how it functions. I have an all in one black jumpsuit, on a date I couldn't get the button undone for ages, I nearly peed my pants but managed in the nick time. Nerves, excitement and wine, could have been a nightmare. Wear what you know works and you feel comfortable in, by some new accesorizes if you want to feel special and take more time over your hair.

Thank you everyone Think I'm sold on the sundress with the dressy sparkly cardigan, sandals and denim jacket. I've worn that combo before albeit different footwear so will feel comfy. Am going to try and get some volume into my thyroid deficient hair. It's half way down my back in length and just been cut this week. My pale white legs need some help though! Too pale for fake tan but have some shimmery lotion to use.

Good luck OP!

Hi all, I went with the sundress combo and looked fab according to my friend who babysat. My date however was boorish and it's no wonder he's single. Such a rude man. He had nothing nice to say about anything or anyone and say there being very disrespectful to his parents and his children to the point of calling his 10 year old a cow. His lack of self awareness was staggering. He left after 90 minutes saying he wanted to get his washing done!! And he looked every one of his 47 years despite claiming he's told he doesn't look his age. Mentally he was about 57!!
Thanks to everyone for their input and well wishes

Ah sorry he was an arse. I guess on line dating is probably a numbers game,,,