Friend always makes up stories....?? sorry long

[LouBeeLou]

I am having problems with a close friend of mine at the moment.

Recently, during perfectly innocent conversations with other friends, it has become apparent to me that a friend of mine is making up stories and majorly over-exaggerating things.

At first it seemed like a quirky part of her character (for example she would moan that she was working 70 hrs a week until we asked how that could be possible when she's only in the office 4 days a week and still gets home in time to put her ds to bed??). But now it has become a little bit more sinister and she is blatantly lying about things. To make it worse she seems to be forgetting who she has told what so is tripping herself up.

She always told us that she was a fully qualified solicitor UNTIL another friend of ours started legal training working at another solicitors. Now she has 'demoted' herself to 'training legal executive'.

There has also been a big hoo-haa recently as her dp had some sort of flirtation with a married woman he works with. It was all very complicated as I know the 'other woman', although we are not close, and some things my friend was saying about the whole thing did not ring true. I really felt for her and wanted to support her but then she really p*ssed me off because the 'other woman' got an idea that I was spreading rumours she was a serial adulterer (which I was not!), and I can only think it came from my friend.

I don't mind the odd bit of exaggerating (how beautiful our kids are, how important we are at work, etc), but I have a feeling that it is now becoming quite harmful. Also it's a bit 'Peter and the Wolf' - I am now struggling to believe ANYTHING she says!

Don't know what to do really, I am livid at the moment, too p*ssed off too speak to her - what good would it do anyway? It's like being back in the playground!

Anyone had a similar experience and managed to salvage the friendship?

TIA

rooster I think you may be right to be suspicious - we once met a couple on holiday (in rather a mad place) and he confided in us that he was dying of cancer but didn't want his wife to be to know. She later came up to me and said that she was having a nightmare with him because he had told her he was dying of cancer and then later admitted he had made it all up. She couldn't believe it when I told her that he had told us the same thing! Some people just can't help themselves (and incidentally I saw him not that long ago, total fluke, and of course he's fine!!!)

Rooster, I wouldn't be ashamd of doubting your friend. She's only brought it on herself. I had a friend who faked a pregnacey then a miscarrage. I hasten to add she is no longer a friend. How on earth people can make these lies up?? I myself had suffered a miscarrage and it was hell. For someone to make light of the subject by making up they'd suffered one is beyond me.

I also had a male friend like this who would gossip nastily about other people in our circle of friends. He always claimed to know what was going on in other peoples relationships and would make up stories that I knew were not true as one of the couples involved are great mates of mine and we share a lot. I tried to end our friendship after he started gossiping about a miscarriage that had happened to one of the couples but then said it was a secret and he couldnt possibly tell me who was involved. When it gets to serious things (lies?) like that, I didnt want to be involved. It took me ages to get out of the relationship as he would continue to call me for at least a year after I stopped calling him and meeting him etc. He didnt want to believe that I was not interested in him. I think he said things to make himself feel the centre of attention. I hope it is easier for you to fade out of the relationship if that is what you decide to do.

A close friend of mine is a bit like this too. I don't really believe anything she says anymore either. The last time I saw her she was reaving about her new boyfriend who sounds like the worlds perfect man... I wondered if he existed at all! It's so strange, she always recounts tales from our shared past, but exagerates them almost beyond recognition! Even my DP has said he finds her boring as she tells the same 'stories' over and over! I have stopped talking to her really at the moment. I recently turned to her when faced with the most frightening and upsetting thing, she never bothered to phone to find out how I was

i have a firend who does this. but she is always the most depressed, the most stressed, the worst problems. as well as having the most intelligent children - who make her depressed and cause her stress. she has no money but the best things...kinda the antipathy of "i am thebest of everything" its so depressing to speak to her, i dont often bother. i think i may if she were to listen to me on an equal basis and we could be manic moaners together, sadly she isn't interested in anyone but herself

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custy, I have one like that - if my kids are bad, hers are worse but if my kids do something good, hers have done better - and the whole family shares an ability to be told anything, ever, they always know best, from a very early age.

I don't see her so often these days though so just agree and try not to say anything remotely controversial!

INability! Duh!

I know this isn't nearly in the same league, but I'm a terrible embellisher. Fortunately DH knows me well enough to do the 'oh really?' sarcastic tone of voice and raised eybrow when he thinks I'm going a bit OTT!

If I'm not challenged, then the stories get bigger. For example, I once had a climbing accident resulting in a broken wrist. One week later it had expanded to a complicated fracture (not really, needed re-set but no op or anything), bad concussion and internal injuries (again, peeing TINY amounts of blood but GP said it was just a minor abdominal bash) - I was having a rare old time in a crowd telling this story and my climbing partner quickly brought me down a peg or two!

Embarrass her in public - works for me.

Thanks for your posts, I feel a bit better to know that there are other people like my friend out there - I had begun to think it was just me being cynical.

I have decided I should confront her about it. If I don't, I'm only going to get more wound up about it, and probably end up exploding at her or never speaking to her again.

Hopefully she'll take what I say as concerned and constructive criticism, rather than me having a go at her. And if she does go off in a huff then I'll know I have hit a nerve!