Not heard from BF for nearly two weeks :(

[tinkerbellone]

Feeling sad and fed up.
We’ve been together 18 months. Lots in common. We spend a lot of time together. Talk and see each other every day. He’s always been impulsive and a bit up and down.
He wants to get married next year. I said no because he has a lot of debt and really struggles to manage his money; he’s so up and down- I feel like our relationship is unbalanced with me supporting him all the time. I wanted to give him time to change and learn to manage his stress and life in general. (He’s having regular counselling as well). When I said no, He’s cut me off and has not been in touch for two weeks.
He does this when he is upset. But after a few days I usually text and try to get him to talk & we sort things out.
I am feeling really hurt that he could cut me off for two weeks... I’ve sent him a text on Sunday but no reply.
No sure what to do. I feel relieved that I’m not having him needing me all the time to sort things but so sad that someone who said they really loved me and wanted to marry me has cut me out their life without a word.
Sorry this is so long. I’m trying to make sense of it. Thank you for reading x

When you've had a proposal of marriage rejected it's often not the case that you just carry on like nothing's happened. I'm guessing you may need a bit of time and head space away from the person who has rejected you.

If he wanted space he should have said he wanted space, not just ignored the OP for 2 weeks! Also the sulking/ignoring/waiting for the OP to contact him cycle is something he's done before.

Why should he? To some people a rejection of marriage means the relationship is over. He's moving on, albeit in an immature way.

He sounds controlling as hell! He's punishing you for saying 'No'! Take this period of no contact and make it permanent. Why are you having to sort out an adult? He is not a toddler. Walk away, no, strike that, RUN!

Oh dear,marrying him sounds more like you'll be a mother figure to him,rather than equal partners. Also this total blanking you for a fortnight is highly controlling and selfish,thinks obviously you'll be there waiting hand and foot until he's ready. Does whatever suits him for a couple of weeks,whilst your left head spinning thinking all sorts. I'd be strong op,imagine a life of this? Take this as your break to end things,and carry on your life,minus this Agro and control....leaving it open to be free again 🙂

He’s just abusive in a different way, end the relationship and adjust your loser radar once again.

I understand you're sad... but seriously well done on not getting further involved with someone who is not worthy of you! You'll look back and be happy at your escape later. Please don't accept him back though if he contacts you - it's a cycle that could repeat and repeat.

Understand you feeling sad and fed up. But the relief that he's not draining you is a sign. Call on some friends, make a firm decision to end things with him, keep busy and soon you won't feel so sad or fed up. But I'm confident that, if you let him back in, this feeling is going to keep happening and each time it'll feel worse (and him harder to get away from).

So he said that he really loves you and wants to marry you, but his actions suggest that he really loves himself and wants to marry you because you've been meeting his needs and marriage will make sure you keep on doing that. I say I love chocolate, what I mean is that chocolate meets my need for a sweet treat, I have no intention of caring about what chocolate needs from me.

Yes that’s so true!
He said to me a few weeks back ‘I’m fed up of all this cleaning and ironing.’ I said ‘that’s what everyone has to do!’ Then he said, ‘I can’t wait to get married.’ I know what he meant... that I’d be doing it all.
He’s talked about marriage for a long time. This is not the first time I’ve said no, I clearly and sensitively gave my reasons: that he needed to be more balanced and stable, clear debts etc. I reassured him that I loved him. That we could think about it in another 18 months.
I don’t think I’d did anything wrong there.

You didn’t. And if he can’t take that, he is refusing to accept responsibility for himself as a grown up!