Am I being mean or am I right to be annoyed?

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

My DH works with a colleague who is also his friend. Every day (Monday to Friday) when my DH is due to go work, he always makes extra pack lunches for his friend as well. I didn't mind at first, but now it's starting to annoy me because we are buying food for the family, but feels like we basically paying for another member of a family to feed them!

I made a few batch cooks this week so that I don't have to cook every day but whatever I made, he brought too much of it because of his friend which leaves us with nothing after a day because he's taken it all. They've both got big appetites! I said to him surely he needs to start bringing his own lunches because it's not our problem to keep making it for him but he says he does it because he feels awkward eating when his friend doesn't eat anything (he's far too lazy to make any lunches!

He will just get a takeaway delivered to his work place) so it's not like he isn't going without food! I am sounding so horrible, but surely I'm not being unreasonable about this?

This would be fine occasionally, but every weekday is daft, why on earth is he doing this?

Wow I would have no problem with this occasionally but taking the food you anticipate using for your family to feed a friend and putting you in a situation where you have to make more would totally piss me off.

Draw a line and say that your DH cooks if he’s going to keep doing this?

Yep occasionally it’s fine. My work mum often brings things for me because she’s just a proper mum! But I also bring for her. We’ll take turns. Or we’ll club together and get salad or sandwich stuff to keep in the work fridge so we can share for lunch. But if he’s not offering up the same generosity, I wouldn’t be happy.

Have you suggested to your DH that his friend might not actually want the food? If he is bringing him it every day, he is going to feel uncomfortable saying "no thanks" and opting for takeaway instead. Maybe he wanted takeaway! I'd also be interested to know if friend offered money or an exchange at any point but DH (people pleaser?) said "no, no it's okay" and has missed the boat!

You're right to be annoyed. I'm not sure I would be infuriated (not saying you are) but it's weird and yes, annoying.

No, YANBU. Feeding a third adult every bloody day is ridiculous! You're basically chucking away 30% of your food! Not your husband's fault if his workmate is too lazy to make his own.

You aren't being mean. Tell your DH to stop feeding his friend or put a note in both lunches telling his friend to sort himself out

Is his friend definitely eating it and not your husband?? That’s being serious..

If it is 100% for his friend then I wouldn’t be happy either! The odd occasion fair enough but food = money!

I wish I was friends and worked with your DH.

That doesn't sound right at all.

Can you explain a bit more about bit

" made a few batch cooks this week so that I don't have to cook every day but whatever I made, he brought too much of it because of his friend which leaves us with nothing after a day because he's taken it all"

because that reads to me as though you batch cooked some meals and your DH gave those to his friend as well as giving him packed lunches.

Which is even more weird (if it's true)

If your H wants to feed his friend than he should buy, prepare and cook it. In fact I’d stop bloody cooking for your H fullstop because he’s only packing his friends lunch, you’re the one bloody cooking it.

You have power here, so start bloody exercising it, don’t get sucked into whatever strange dependencies your H has with this man.

Hmmm....does your DH have a bit of a man crush going on?

Tell your husband it costs more too feed both him and friend and he should go but takeaway as well.

No way, that’s crazy. He’s got to stop doing lunches. That must cost a fortune!!

EVERYDAY is a pisstake.

Start charging friend.

Has he got someone locked in a cellar somewhere? Is he Pat Phelan?