Well I guess I'm not the first and I wont be the last.
I am almost 60, I remarried 5 years ago, to someone I thought was my soulmate. He had a stroke 8 months after we wed, through which I stood by his side. I visited him every day for 2 months at a hospital 50 miles away and nursed him on his return home. He could only work part time, so I was the breadwinner. I've been the breadwinner, the cook, the cleaner the laundress, gardener, tea maker and general factotum ever since. He has managed to indulge his hobbies however, and has energy enough for what he wants to do. 2 years into the marriage I came home early, he was in the bath and his computer was open, to sex dating sites. I spoke to him about this, and he seemed to think it was perfectly normal. I said while I could tolerate porn, sex dating sites were beyond the pale, he agreed not to do it anymore. Fast forward to 2 years later. He rejected touching me, started getting up early, going to bed late. I could do nothing right. Alarm bells, I hacked into his email, to find he was off trying to meet women from these sex dating sites. He picked the worn sites, there were no real women there, just bots and probably fat hairy men. Cue big conversation. He promised again to stop yadda yadda. A month later I also found he had been secretly chatting regularly with an ex girlfriend, and perhaps meeting her. Naturally denied, I said he had to tell her he would no longer be in touch, else that was it! He sent a text saying he could no longer communicate, she sent me several nasty ones saying he had still been seeing her up to a couple of months before we married. Well we have had 18 months of a decent relationship. Until the last few weeks. Late to bed, early to rise, no tenderness or closeness. So once again I looked at his email. Yep, you've guessed it, he was on the dating sites again, and what really hurt, he started it 2 days before my sister's funeral. He knew how devastated I was, and am over her death, we were so very close. Well, he has moved into the spare bedroom, and at least I am no longer his unpaid servant. I am the only one to blame for doing so much for him, it started after the stroke, and I should have stopped once he recovered. But, the disdain he holds me in, beggars belief. I don't know if we can divorce, neither of us can afford it at our time of life, my work is ending in a few months (contract) and people don't employ 60 year olds. He is unemployed as well now. I suppose I don't expect advice, I know the choices, I just need to talk really, as I no longer have my wonderful sis to speak to.